Balling Accessories - Tactical or Tacticool?

Don't be a 'Noob':

Unless you're me, cause that's my job.

No but seriously, I noticed a lot of people who'd loaded themselves up with pounds and pounds of ear, most of which was either ignored, or ineffective when it came to the majority of the Fight for Asylum fire fights. Don't get me wrong, there's a time and place for all sorts of attachments and upgrades, but when you're putting "sights on sights on sights", the whole thing becomes a little ridiculous.

I saw a couple of people working sights on stock guns without so much as an extended barrel, and this seems a little off to me. I managed, with just a new barrel, to barely dial-in my shots. Remember folks, that unless you're working with a rifled barrel, and even then sometimes it won't matter, that you're effectively using an old-school musket so be sure to treat it like one. Unless you've spent hours zeroing your gun in on a target using one scope and First Strike rounds, there's not going to be a huge difference between your scope-modified marker and the guy working the stock variant of your gun. 

A Sniper's Best Friend:

Ask Valyrie if these work ;) Our badass medic could tell you from first-hand experience how deadly these little puppies can be.

I wouldn't recommend these to my fellow noobs, that would just be insane. They're much more costly than standard ammunition, they require a decent amount of set-up time and you need a marker that's reliably accurate enough to make the most of them (not to mention that they don't work in every marker). If you have the time and money however, these can drastically improve your on-field performance if sniping is what suits you best.

I managed to get a chat in with one of my team's 2 designated snipers, a Mr. Dan Greene who gave me this much about his experiences firing First Strike rounds:

"For tactical games/scenarios they're awesome. You can reach out and touch people at twice if not more the effective range of a traditional paintball... The quality of first strikes has fallen off greatly in the last few years. Now you pull 100 rounds out of a case and 30 of them are underweight and 50 of them have burrs on the nose which affects trajectory on longer shots."

As with anything that goes from being manufactured for a speciality market to mass-production there will be some inconsistencies and growing pains. How well FS rounds do in the future will depend heavily it seems, on how the manufacturing quality is maintained.

Frequent Faux-Pas:

I posted a question on Facebook about what people thought were either the most common, or just the downright worst "tacticool" mistakes made by players. Sometimes you're just doing something to be cool, but every now and then a noob like myself sees it, thinks it's somehow functional and lays down money on it in the hopes of improving their game. This is how the voting broke down:

Unnecessary scopes...
This is what you look like.

1. Unecessary sights and/or scopes: "Scopes in paintball are essentially useless considering we play at ranges generally under 200ft." - Paul Williams. He makes a good point, and since a standard paintball is practically an old-school musketball fired by air and not gunpowder the accuracy of a stock marker with a scope is still the same as a marker without the scope. Remember, First Strike rounds give you a reason to work with a low-power scope but they're costly!
2. Flashlights: They're a bitch to play against under perfect circumstances, but unless you're playing a lot of night games, or you're using a strobe light in a dark hallway to disorient your attackers, it's essentially a waste of money and dead weight on your gun.
3. Overspending on clothing: Should have been in 2nd place but the voting got divided between the general clothing shopping spree and ghillie suits. I saw a lot of people with so much gear on them when it served NO practical purpose at the Fight for Asylum game. Does it make you look cool? To me it's not cool to sacrifice mobility and functionality just to look neat. To me, cool means being able to move from bunker to bunker, making mad dashes to and from cover and bunkering your enemies. You can't do that as well when you're bogged down with gear.

There were more options on the poll, but these were the top three, and very clear leaders of 'tacticool' status.

Disclaimer:

I'd just like to toss this out here in case of any potential trouble...

This blog is not about insulting anyone, though I anticipate there are some people who will get their feelings hurt. If you have the money to blow on gear and style upgrades by all means knock yourself out but whatever you do, don't go telling new or prospective ballers that they need the gear to play better, look better, etc. I know a few friends who've had people tell them that they need tonnes and tonnes of gear and upgrades to play better ball or have more fun and it turned them off of the sport. I've managed to repair some of that damage (and might even be bringing a coworker to Skirmish Paintball's Invasion of Normandy in Pennsylvania this summer) but I'm sure there's more to be rectified. So, if you like being tacticool and you can afford it, by all means have fun, but this is a cautionary post for noobs like myself so that money isn't wasted on the frills rather than the thrills.

With all of that said I'd like to apologize for taking so long to write this post. I kept promising "tonight, tomorrow" etc etc, but life got in the way and frankly... I have my extremely lazy moments. 

Until next time folks, remember to keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'N00b' Baller

Soda Seer - "Exert Yourself"

Funny Fortunes:

You may be familiar with a company called Jones Soda as their products are sold at most Starbucks locations. Each bottle of their soda has a 'fortune' under the cap and my bottle today is what inspired this post.

It must seem ridiculous for me to write a paintball article based off of a bottle cap but I assure you that there's a legitimate lesson in all of this that EVERY baller needs to recognize. This piece of advice came on a day where I'd been reflecting on last weekend's Fight for Asylum event and wondering how I could've improved my performance and that's what made me think to write this all down.

I had a number of shortcomings over the weekend -that comes with being a first time player- but none more detrimental than the one alluded to by my little fortune telling friend here. I cracked open my bottle of Jones' Orange Cream Soda, a gift from the head office team visiting my work, to read "you can solve your problem if you exert yourself". Upon reading this very simple piece of advice it all became clear to me, and the seed was planted in my mind that would eventually grow into this blog post.

My mind went back to memories of me getting pinned down on the front line and desperately returning fire in an effort to keep enemy heads down. On more than a couple of occasions I managed to earn a break in enemy fire but neglected to capitalize on it. I tended to stay where I was after a quick exchange rather than push up to the next bunker and mostly because I doubted if I could make the run without being hit. When I read the fortune it became very clear that if I had chosen to exert myself a little more and just pushed my way forward despite my doubts, that on at least a few occasions I could've gained a serious edge on the battlefield.

Hunkerin' down and Bunkerin'

I'm a baller and I know it!

If you've never played at PRZ Paintball it might help you to take a look at the image embedded to the right. This is the warzone just outside of the warehouse (building in the background directly in-frame above the tire bunker) and its scattered bunkers make for very interesting firefights. There's also a 2-story building (left and out of frame) with windows providing an excellent overwatch position where players can lay down some serious fire on the bunkers to the left of the warehouse entrance. It was behind one of these such bunkers that I was pinned down from a couple of gunners holed-up in those damned windows and even though I had eyes on them, I still didn't move when I saw the gunners pop back behind cover.

I didn't exert myself, didn't push, didn't try to make a run to new cover even when I should have. Because I hesitated so much I wound up holding my team back as I was occupying a bunker that they could've used to move more forward from and I wasted roughly eight minutes of my time and far too much paint on just a couple of windows. If you doubt how demoralized I was during all of this, check out my expression in the next photo.

Desperate, but not Hopeless:

Okay, so HERE I was hopeless, but in the grand scheme of things I knew there was room to improve ;)

Copyright - Sheldon Carless

Now is this the face of a warrior-minded baller? Hell no. This is someone who's doubting their potential and who needs someone to shake the cobwebs out of their head and get them moving. Luckily enough I had my "Fantastic Four" team mates to get my spirits back up and teach me how to better handle this sort of situation but not everyone will have that kind of support so here I sit, writing an article.

If you're a NooB like me, don't be afraid to admit it. Everyone who ever did anything worthy of note was once a 'NooB' in that field and had to learn from others along the way. I just hope that this article will give my fellow noobs a heads-up about how to conduct themselves on the field for a better playing experience. I'm not saying that you can't have fun while endlessly longballing your targets, but there's a certain satisfaction to running up and bunkering them and knowing that you made a sick sprint to do it!

Exert Yourself!

Seriously guys, that's all it takes. Sure there's the old adage of "work smart, not hard" but in some cases you just need to push through a situation with pure effort. Maybe that means daring to take on enemy fire for an objective, or pushing yourself to run up and slide into the next bunker during a quick pause in the enemy's covering fire. Whatever the case may be, a little hustle never hurt anyone... Not without reward at least.

So, if you're ever pinned down and wondering what to do, just remember...

Keep calm, EXERT YOURSELF, and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor -  The 'Noob' Baller

Fight for Asylum - Prestigious Paintballers

And the Awards Go To:

I told y'all that last weekend was going to spawn a whole series of posts... Hope you're prepared because there's a lot to get through over the next week or so.

I'm writing this post to pay homage to a couple of ballers who I witnessed running the field like they owned it. These guys (and girls) held their own, kept their squads in the fight and -when necessary- were willing to lay it all on the line to push the enemy back even through walls of enemy paint. It takes a certain something to lead others in battle, and don't get me wrong that's precisely what it is out there. It's a battle and to be able to get others to follow you and carry out your orders is a very special skill. It's because of his leadership that my first award goes to:

Smash:

Bringing home the briefcase.

Our general for the weekend, and my official 'ballin brother for life, Smash rallied our team and turned us into a paintballin' meat grinder at times. He worked the XOs to make sure that everyone knew what the objectives were, employed runners to get the messages out to the front lines when his NCOs were unavailable and kept all of our spirits up with pep talks and even came up with little personal missions carried out by splinter cell-like squads.

Smash was by no means a 'lead from the back' kind of commander though, as he frequently pushed up with our troops, forcing the enemy back with some serious cohones and firepower (buddy was packin' pods like they were goin' out of style). We had to keep begging him to back up as it was extra points for killing a general but there's just nothing you can do about it when Smash gets his head into the gunfighting zone. 

If it wasn't for this smashing young gun... Pun DEFINITELY intended, I'd probably still be wandering around aimlessly, getting lit up at every turn. He made sure that I was given a task, and that I had someone to tag along with so I'd never be far from support. For his first time as a general, I could've sworn that Smash had a little Patton in him. 

I like to say that "if the only balls you have are in your hopper, you're gonna have a bad time", and it's supposed to apply to pods and extra ammo but Smash has the stones to back up his 'ballin.

Valkyrie:

This next baller takes home the gold medal for persistence, attitude and commitment to the cause.

Valkyries are mythological figures also known as the choosers of the slain. In this case, our Valkyrie was more of an angel of mercy who fearlessly ran across the front lines to keep our shooters in the fight.

When most people think of a medic they may come up with this image of a person who spends their time behind cover, hiding from enemy fire but not our Valkyrie! No sirree-Bob she could be found wherever the firefights were hottest and even taking a First Strike sniper round to the throat couldn't deter her from her medic's duties. 

In addition to the typical wiping of war wounds, Valkyrie mentored a little guy that we came to affectionately call "Mini-Medic" or "Peanut". When things got really bad she kept him out of the worst of it, even though he was all-too-eager to be where the most paint was. More than once Valkyrie had to clean up my sorry, painted self after digging myself too deep into a shithole bunker and I count myself as damned lucky to have had her backing me up.

For anyone interested (that meaning anyone sporting a Y chromosome), Valkyrie has volunteered to be a victim of the dunk tank this summer out at PRZ for Operation Die Glocke which'll be going down August 10th and 11th. It'll be 2$ per attempt at dunking this lovely lady so if you think you've got the arm for it, ante-up and drop her down!

Juggernaut:

He's the Juggernaut biatch!

A Jack of all trades if there ever was one, Juggernaut spent his time with the 'Murican team as one of the most badass engineers ever to grace the grounds at PRZ. Mission after mission, as each new objective came down from the organizers Jugger'd be right out there, spearheading the effort. It didn't matter if it was a retrieval, assault or defence mission, Juggernaut just went to work ploughing through the Deimos forces.

I spent a couple of minutes pinned down inside a busted-up GMC Suburban when we tried to push out of the village to take the fallout zone during which he spent the entire time returning fire through partially rolled down windows and calling out targets for me as I leaned up into the driver's seat to unload on nearby bunkers. You tend to develop a certain appreciation for someone who you conduct 'drive bys' with from a STATIONARY vehicle haha.

Juggernaut was another one of the 'Murican officers who helped me develop as quickly as I did. As a reference, here's a little visual aide that might explain my mentality before/after the influence of all my commanding officers.

Left: Before (Photo Credit to Unshakeable Media)
Right: After (Photo Credit to Darlene St. Georges)

Yeah, the left side is from Saturday's battle with me looking hopeless and pinned down behind a tire/pallet bunker. I've got some obviously sloppy grip discipline, looking backwards and away from the fight, and I'm just generally in a bad spot. I spent probably 8 minutes pinned down in that same spot while guys made rushes right past me before I drummed up the courage to move. The left side of the photo comes from Sunday's final battle. I'm in the urban camo pants and black long-sleeve T, checking in with my squad as to where the enemy had guys bunkered down and organizing a suppress and advance move. I never would have had the confidence to start making calls on the field if I hadn't received the support from my team's leadership on Saturday and during the first half of Sunday.

Last, Littlest but DEFINITELY not Least:

Some people might know him as Wyatt, but to me and the squad this little dude was known by his Valkyrie-designated callsign; "Peanut".

Wyatt accepting his "Team MVP
award from General Smash

There was no doubt when it came time to ask, "who was your most valuable player?" We spent Sunday with half the medics of our opponents and one of them refused to run into anything except a clear field to help our troops... If that. Wyatt was a completely different story altogether.

When we started asking around the Command Post looking for volunteers for medic duty, Wyatt wasted no time at all throwing his marker into the ring. To be honest, no one really knew that much about him and I'd only just found out that although he's only 13, Wyatt's been balling for 3 years and when our squad ran into its first major firefight I discovered that 'Peanut' could sling paint with the best of them... And yeah, I'll admit, he was WAY beyond my skill set. He'd dash into rooms we'd yet to clear, always looking for a paintstorm. When I got pinned down by a bunch of snipers in front of the 3-story building he ran up to my aid, sharing the minimal cover of three oil drums just to make sure that I had a medic with me and that the enemy would have more than just me to shoot at.

The best way that I can think of to describe 'Peanut' would be a fearless, hyper-agile competitor because no matter how bad a situation seemed, he'd be the first guy to push the advance using his small stature and ridiculous speed to get around obstacles and across fields of fire without so much as incidental splatter much less any actual hits.

Well done Peanut, you earned that award and then some!

After the Applause:

Those were the 'Fantastic Four' of my 'balling experience. I don't mean to downplay the importance of any other team members, it's just that I spent the most time around these guys, got to know their playing styles and saw what they were really capable of. I suppose another award for "Craziest Baller in Attendance" should be given out to Dylan "Joe Dirt" Swann but that's a topic for another post... Maybe another Asylum Assassins-based release??? You never know.

That's all I have for the moment my fellow ballers. As always, keep your finger(s) on the trigger(s) and...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'N00b' Baller

Welcome to Paintball - The NooB Gets Knackered

The Fight for Asylum:

I hope everyone else's weekend went as well as mine.

I managed to conquer nature, my own fears and (with the help of another 264 people) the entire red team no matter what the score sheet said.

As you'll probably know, my first paintball adventure EVER went down this weekend and I have to say that I've never had a better rush in my life. Stalking through hallways, running and gunning out on the roads, diving to cover in massive firefights between 80+ people at a time... It was the most exhilarating experience I could possibly imagine.

Welcome to Paintball:

Let me be your guide.

'Smash', myself, Juggernaut and Valkyrie (front row).

This is by-far the most intense sport that I have ever experienced and if anyone wants to debate the status of paintball as a sport I'm down for that duel and so are 559 of my closest friends and acquaintances.

Athleticism, awareness, accuracy and aggression should be the four A's of paintball. If you can nail down those four things it's no surprise to find yourself waist-deep in a flood of paint without batting an eyelash at incoming fire...

Okay, so maybe I'm not exactly Rambo or John McClane but I'll be damned if I didn't feel like it as I ran out into the no-man's-land-like regions of the warzone as the battle rotated around the buildings. It really was something to behold (if only I could've watched from the rooftops) as the battle moved back and forth over the front and back fields, pivoting around the 3-story apartment at one end and the 2-story offices at the other. It should also be mentioned that a fatal funnel of frenzied paintball firing known locally as 'the hallway of death' also played a large part in controlling the central warehouse which seemed to give any team possessing it an unwarranted confidence... Seriously, if you botched the outdoor fight it just meant you were pinned down in the centre, waiting to get blitzed.

Bring in the N00b!

Yeah, I became the "chosen plug" every now and then, but I more often chose myself for the job than anything else.

'Joe Dirt' and I (camo pants) getting seriously
stitched while making a suicide flag run.

There's a certain honour in putting it all out there for the sake of your team, even if that means you get a few welts along the way. If you ask me, each welt should tell a story, and if you've got too many welts to remember every story well... You might have looked like me out on the field because I couldn't get back to the front lines fast enough. Once you start slinging paint it's hard to stop readers, I can promise you that much.

I was running (as you'll most definitely know by now) a Tippmann A5, JT Proshield mask, BT 4+1 pod pack full-up with four pods and and 3000psi HPA tank. No E-triggers, no fancy sights, just the basics people. To be honest? It did the job admirably. When I needed to lay down covering fire it was easy to just snap my middle finger back and rattle off balls. When I needed to place rounds on target at range it worked equally well. Could I have used a sight? Maybe, but only if I'd known the range I'd be engaging at the most. All-in-all the A5 worked every bit as hard as I did and not ONCE did I chop a ball. I did get a couple balls stuck in the barrel when the temperature dropped so to all you n00bs out there just remember account for cold-weather shrinkage okay? ;) It happens to the best of us guys and the only thing you can do is work with what you've got... A larger-bore barrel doesn't hurt much either though you stand a chance of losing a little accuracy. In all honesty though, with the whole barrel thing, a slightly larger bore isn't going to mess with you before the 18-20 yard range and at that point you're 'hailmarying' your shots anyway.

Earning my Stripes:

Oddly enough they resemble welts... Who knew?

These are my worst/best from the weekend.
Took 3 days of balling to get it this bad so don't
be afraid to hit a field for just a day or two.

Yeah it comes with the territory, welts, bruises, cuts and scrapes. If you're gonna go HAM (hard as a mofo) you're gonna need the odd bit of Advil, Rub A535 and Polysporin. These are all essential parts of a paintball kit as you KNOW you've had a good day when you finally sit down and your mind is overcome with thoughts of "Where the HELL is my muscle cream!?!". It helps to keep your legs moving at ALL times (if you sit down to eat, or stand around reloading in the pits just shift your weight side to side or bounce your knees up and down) so that your muscles don't cramp up. Force the oxygen to them by keeping them at work to some extent and you'll reduce muscle fatigue.

As far as welts and bruises go, that shit's got its own timeline. It'll heal differently depending on your body but a little cold compress (ice pack, cold water-dampened facecloth) will do wonders on the swelling. Maybe you'll be 'lucky' like me and get your hands lit up while popping out of cover for which I recommend getting a pair of half-finger armoured gloves to keep your digits happy. Balls tend to bounce a lot on the weird angles created by your hands and wrists and any baller will tell you that a bounce almost ALWAYS hurts more than a clean break.

I got smoked by this ninja-esque baller after battling hard for a foothold in the 2-story building. He slid into the room across a hallway covered by three guys, poked the first three in the room, shot me (the welt just under my gold chain), shot the guy next to me in the chest and then slapped the last man in the room on the back of the head. I just had to shake his hand before I started on my way back to the respawn point because it was just insane how quickly he pulled that off.

My back got stitched (nailed with a line of balls) on my suicide flag run. There are three distinct welts in the top left picture (two at the shoulder and one on the spine) from that little display of insanity. I also too two more on the bicep and one more on the ass after I hit the ground.

Does any of this discourage my from balling? HELL NO! I know it's a little intimidating for some people when they see the marks but honestly? They're just badges of honour. Each welt tells a very distinct story about your day and you should be proud of them. I'm not saying spend ALL your time running into a firefight but if you're considering it just remember that while pain's only temporary, bragging rights and glory last forever!

Best Blasting / Pick of the Paint:

Alright, with each paintball trip I make there's going to a "Best Blasting" and "Pick of the Paint" segment. This is where I detail my personal favourite shot and my most notable 'knackering' (when I get my ass lit-up with paint).

A Close One:

It was really hard for me to pick between two deaths but I've managed to decide on the winner. I had the unenviable task of choosing between a display of "ballziness" and an absolute shock-trooper domination... 

And the award goes to *drum roll*

The Ninja Nailer. This guy flew into a room held by 6 people and with one smooth move eleiminated everyone putting a shot square at the base of my neck and into the sternum of the guy to my right... It only took him two shots. I was going to choose my suicide run but that was more about just doing something ridiculous, the people who shot me out had a turkey shoot going on. This damned ninja (whose name I never got unfortunately) showed some serious courage, composure and skill with his sliding breach and clear. Six kills in four seconds? Not too shabby pal, not too shabby at all.

Bushed

 I made my best moves of the weekend on Sunday after I got into my rhythm on Saturday's dominating game. Again the decision comes down to a duel between two equally epic events but I've still managed to pick a winner.

1. My spawn. 2. My berm.
3. Concealed shooter. 4. Enemy spawn

As a runner-up we have my second 'bunkering' of the day where, after calling for some blistering cover fire from me bunker mates, I made a dash down a narrow fire-funnel of a hallway and got up against a house-style bunker. The bugger inside had been blasting the ammo dump (the bunker I'd just run from) along with a couple of his squadmates but we'd managed to pick them off. The general had called for us to push through to the fallout zone so this thorn in our side couldn't be allowed to sit there and suppress our advancing troops. I asked the guys around me (one speedballer, an X7 e-trigger and some rentals) to lay down fire on the bunker as I made a mad dash for the window on the left of the bunker. I turned and aimed down and *POP POP* put a round clear into his shoulder after missing the first. I pulled the trigger a third time quickly but got nothing but air... Last two balls and one of'em made a bunkering shot. That being said it still doesn't beat my favourite kill.

My kill of the weekend was on a concealed triggerman preventing my team from advancing down the back boulevard of the back road. He had crawled just far enough into the trees to prevent getting longballed and even getting eyes on him was next to impossible. Suddenly one of the guys sheltering with me in the berm motioned that the shooter was behind some yellow caution tape strung up in a tree. I ran from the berm to the treeline and advanced along it to within about fifteen feet of him. I flagged my wingman back at the berm to lay down three bursts before I planned to make my run. After a lot of shredded paint in the trees around our target I ran up and popped him clean on the mask. His hand went up, he rolled out of the bushes and I was promptly nailed by a Citrus Connection member hiding out way back behind a berm on the opposite side of the road.

Around the Campfire:

I hate to wrap this up but I've dropped enough text on this page as-is. I wish I could've shown you these great moments but I wasn't able to borrow a helmet or barrel cam so I'll have to save up for one or guarantee a loaner for my next deployment.

The Fight for Asylum event was absolutely mindblowing folks. I can't say enough about it but you can be sure I'll make an attempt at summing it all up with tomorrow's article. Until then, to n00bs and pros alike just remember to...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'N00b' Baller

PRZ Prep - The Anticipation Mounts

On My Way:

One more notice about the event before it's too late...

This weekend is the second "Fight For Asylum" season opening event at PRZ Paintball in Picton, Ontario. As many of you know, I'm going to be there and its going to be one hell of a blast. I hope that a couple of you will be in attendance (I know a few will as there are Asylum Assassins members reading the blog) and if you see the Assassins there that you will come over and ask to chat with me. I'd love to take some photos, get to know anyone who's taken the time to read my blog so you can be sure I'll probably drop everything to say hello.

As a disclaimer, no, I don't feel like some kind of celebrity just because I write this... I just think that a couple of my readers would be nice enough to stop by, say hello and let me take a picture or two for my articles on here... And I wanted to make a funny photo.

Long Black Train:

I had plans to take the train to and from Belleville however that plan's been modified. I'll now be catching a lift straight from Oshawa to PRZ and then I'll be riding the rails back home.

I WISH my ride would look this nice...

The trick to train transportation is to travel light and that means you've got to be smart. Most people don't like the train, feeling that it's archaic or outdated or some damned thing but me? I rather enjoy it when the trip doesn't involve spending the night on-board without a sleeper car.  Back to the whole packing thing, here's a little tip. If you want to cut down on baggage claim costs, go with a package with two checked bags on your departure trip and then only one on your return. Bring a solid cooler and a collapsible duffel bag so that you can eat the supplies from the cooler and then pack your clothing etc. back into the cooler for the return journey. Of course you'll need to test your gear to see if this is a viable option with whatever cooler you have but if it is, knock yourself out and save some money.

Another thing you should know is that on the whole, taking the train's not that costly. The only real inconveniences are the scheduled departure/arrival times if you've got friends for short-range transportation from the station to the field. I've taken VIA Rail a number of times for different reasons and it's always been a pleasant experience.

DRAW!

This is where I get all super 'aggro' and tell you stuff like "I'll see you on the field!" and "your taint is paint!" (Okay, that one didn't sound as good outside of my head... moving on) in an attempt to posture and 'trash talk' a little... NAH, it's where I wrap up this post and make a last attempt at getting y'all out to this amazing event. For details on the Fight For Asylum event and many more check out www.przpaintball.com under the events section.

I hope you've enjoyed this little insight into what's shaping up to be an amazing popping of my paintball cherry. Here's hoping I manage to pull off some insane moves... Or at least not get painted like a picket fence. Either way I intend to remember to have fun and most importantly...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'n00b' Baller

Budget Balling - Staying In Bounds

Money:

It's a gas but only when you have enough to get by.

My post tonight is all about 'balling on a budget. There are a couple of videos and reviews out there already that're meant to teach you how to save money while indulging in paintball but I disagree with the typical "bring better accessories to enhance your rental experience" strategy. I'm more of a "make an educated investment and work the numbers angle" sort of guy.

Education:

Get some! No, seriously... Educate yourself fellow 'n00b's.

I can't tell you everything about how to set up your kit, simply because I'm not you. What I CAN tell you for sure are these details:

Proper Propellant:

Yup, this is the title of my last post but it fits here as well. Plain and simple, if you're going to play more than 3 days worth of paintball, high-pressure air is worth the starting investment. Remember folks, it isn't all about getting started soon, it's about getting started RIGHT. If you rush your first kit and buy something that doesn't work for you, or that doesn't have the durability to last then you've just wasted your money. Investing your money into HPA will ensure that you don't have to pay out every time that you want to 'ball just to load up your tank.

For more information on the advantages of HPA over CO2, you can read my post, Proper Propellants.

Masking Mistakes:

You can't shoot what you can't see... Well, a lucky ball might hit someone you couldn't see when you fired it... But that's not what I'm getting at.

A proper mask is going to make sure you don't... Or, well, do the best it can to make sure you don't get nailed by someone you missed due to an uncomfortable mask or a lessened range of vision. Now I'm not much of a mask aficionado but I CAN tell you what the best-rated masks on the market are right now. I'd like to remind you that buying used can always help keep costs low, but if you're like me you'll probably take a certain deal of pride in owning a brand new set of gear for your starter kit. Don't let this mentality destroy your wallet, but it's okay to start off with the strength and assurance of new equipment.

1. Dye Invision Mask: http://www.pbreview.com/products/reviews/956/
2. VForce Profiler Mask: http://www.pbreview.com/products/reviews/2255/
3. VForce Armour Mask: http://www.pbreview.com/products/reviews/432/   

These reviews were not written by me... Rather obviously. Also, I haven't had the time to sift through all of the reviews but having by-far the most reviews, and ranking at or above a 9/10 these masks are the most likely to keep you satisfied and seeing the world as you need to see it.

Whippin' Up a Cyclone:

Cyclone feed technology... A boom for budget ballers.

Okay, so maybe I've got a marker-woody going for the A5's cyclone feed concept, but coming from my friends and professional contacts in the paintball community, the A5's cyclone feed is something damned-decent, especially when you've got cheap-to-reload HPA.

It's not the best deal when you're blasting through CO2 as CO2 suffers under rapid-fire and colder conditions but for HPA it's a perfect higher-speed feed system. The cyclone feed system uses propellant (CO2 or HPA) to rotate the cyclone feeding paddles. The paddles line up your paintballs so each shot advances a new round, preventing you from misfiring and just blowing air. You can look to the inserted image for the appearance and a basic visual explanation of how the cyclone feeder works. 

This will help to improve your game while keeping you on-budget by allowing for a higher, reliable fire rate but at the same time preventing you from having to buy an electronic feeding system. With your fire rate issues solved, here comes the next (and very logical) step to increasing your firepower...

Become a Pod Person:

This one's simple really. If you're in a firefight would you like to have more ammunition or less? Yeah, that's what I thought.

More ammo means more chances to headshot that bugger who's been trying to long ball your ass. More ammo means outlasting your opponent and forcing them into submission when they run dry. More ammo means more fun... Unless you're a mag-fed guy, but since this article is geared towards start-up ballers, ammunition is your friend.

You don't need to blow a massive wad of cash on a pod pack in order to keep your ammo on-hand, so don't get caught up with pricey, flashy packs right now. You can pick up a new, 4-pod + tank-holder pack for around $20-$30 CDN without sacrificing functionality. Remember to keep your goals simple, and in this case that just means bringing more ammunition to the field.

Determination:

You will need to be a very determined shopper to get the best deals, but rest-assured that the deals ARE out there even if you shop brand-new from retailers.

I've had great luck in my search shopping with both www.buypaintball.ca and www.onlinepaintball.ca as both websites have fantastic pricing. If you're looking for a much more personal touch, contact BuyPaintball.ca for your needs. Their website allows you to place orders through PayPal which makes things much simpler when it comes time to order and honestly? Their customer service support is flawless.

A couple of things to remember when shopping at your local retailers thought folks, always carry the up-to-date pricing of other retailers with you, do as much shopping online as possible to research pricing and save time, and finally don't be afraid to make an attempt at haggling. For the most part there are mark-ups, and retailers know it. You can't demand the world, that's simply impolite and inconsiderate but you CAN ask what the best possible deal is based upon other retailers' pricing.

OH! If you want to know more about the A5, get any reviews on it etc, ask Nick Elie at Flagswipe Paintball (info@buypaintball.ca) about it. Please don't flood his inbox but serious inquiries? Absolutely. I've been working with Nick on getting a lot of this information for you guys he loves making sure that new ballers are properly informed.

Get it On! (Your gear that is):

Now it's time to look at getting your kit together. If you're not so sure about the sport, just go to a couple of "walk-ons welcome" fields, rent a marker and mask, and have some fun. If paintball's for you, look into getting your own kit asap. It's rough enough paying for paint, don't keep paying for your gear any longer than you have to.

That's everything I have for you tonight. Remember to keep your wits and wallets about you and as always...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'n00b' Baller

Hellraising Hairstyles - The Iroquois

Chop the Top!

This article doesn't really have anything to do with something to enhance my potential, playing quality or anything performance-related... Except that the subject material might enhance my mental state and boost my play through a psychological edge.

The Iroquois:

A lot of people have gotten this wrong over the years, however those closer to the issue know that the hairstyle commonly known as the "mohawk" is actually a misnomer. The mohawk have a reputation for growing long, flowing locks of black hair. The Iroquois on the other hand have a very interesting, edgy hairstyle today favoured by wannabe punks and would-be rebels.

I could go on and on about the Iroquois' warrior culture, how they helped to change the tides of wars in colonial-era Canada, so on and so forth but this article -selfishly enough- is about me.

This is my new hairstyle (with a little extra left on the sides to allow me to  cut the top back) for the upcoming Fight For Asylum 2 at PRZ Paintball in Picton, Ontario. Why am I doing this? Not sure really, I just felt like I'd enjoy something a bit edgier for the weekend and seeing as how I have a Green Day concert the Thursday night before I ship out to Picton this hairstyle choice is going to fit in with more than just my paintballing excursion.

Hopefully I'll be able to get myself noticed with the new 'do when I'm out slinging paint. I suppose I COULD try to get noticed through superior paintballing but seeing as this'll be the event that pops my paintball cherry, I don't assume that spectacular performance will be the hallmark of my weekend. Maybe I'll make 'best newcomer', who knows.

Fight For Asylum 2 - Update:

In case you haven't been following the Facebook event page (in the post above) the event now has over 530 people listed as attending and that number grows steadily every day. It passed the 'largest PRZ paintball event' mark a while back but I see no reason to stop the 'recruiting' drive now so I'd like to encourage everyone to be there. This will be, as I've mentioned countless times, my first paintball experience and I would like to make the absolute most out of it. If you want to pre-register you can following this link: https://przpaintballca.ipage.com/store/.

The Clean-Up:

That's everything for tonight. I'll post pictures of the new haircut when I can. Hope to see you all back here soon.

Remember folks,

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'n00b' Baller

Proper Propellants - HPA vs. CO2

A Lot of Hot Air:

As a beginner I've been trying to get my gear in order (old news) but one very serious stance that my friends and paintball contacts have been taking is that HPA is the best propellant for my circumstances, and that it is the better propellant overall.

HPA - High Pressure Air:

HPA is very simply pressurized air... Yup, the stuff you breath in and out all day packed into a tank and used to sling paint at your enemies. This should be your propellant of choice, especially if the climate you're playing in has cooler days.

Functionality:

CO2 actually turns into a liquid when under high pressure and will collect at the bottom of your tank. The liquid needs to evaporate into a gas to be used as propellant but when under sustained burst-fire or in cold conditions, the liquid CO2 can't convert to gas fast enough and enters your marker as a liquid. This can 'freeze' the marker requiring time un-used to allow for it to warm back up, but also chances damaging the internal components. HPA doesn't have this problem and as such, has won the hearts and minds of paintballers almost everywhere.

Let's move onto the focus of MOST beginner 'ballers though... MONEY.

Pricing:

*Just imagine Pink Floyd's "Money" playing in the background here...

HPA tanks are more expensive than their CO2 counterparts, usually starting around $70.00 new for the most basic tanks and moving up from there (compared to CO2 tanks which can be in the $20.00 range for the cheapies) but there's another detail to consider.

Most fields will charge you around $8.00-$10.00 for the day to keep your CO2 tank filled. You don't typically see a charge for getting your HPA tanks reloaded so you can save money in the long run by starting out with HPA. In fact, a number of retailers now have established HPA 'upgrade' packages that you can order alongside a basic marker-mask-CO2 tank kit to replace the CO2 tank, substituting it out entirely in favour of the HPA canister. Sure the cost averages about $40 more over the package with CO2, but if you're filling up at $8.00 a day, you're looking at only 5 days of balling before you've paid off your investment.

Full Up?

Hopefully this has filled your brain with a bit of info dealing with the choice between CO2 and HPA. when it boils down to it my fellow 'n00b's you want something that's going to cost you less in the long run. It might seem painful to drop an extra chunk of change off the break but if you're going to stick with paintball to any extent, you're eventually going to burn a hole in your wallet paying for CO2.

I hope this helps y'all out. Until next time my 'ballin buds remember to...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'n00b' Baller

Respected Retailers - BuyPaintball.ca

Listen Up!

I have something that needs to be said about a particular retailer, and before you go making assumptions, NO I haven't been asked or enticed to write this article. I was inspired to write this review after my interactions with the customer support team who I've come to know as 'Nick' from www.buypaintball.ca.

Buypaintball.ca:

A small, family-owned paintball shop located in London, Ontario (exact details to follow) and I was floored by their service quality and pricing.

Now it typically takes me having some sort of real personal connection for me to mention a retailer on here, my Paintball Weazels post came from my acquaintanceship with Mr. Sarge Morin, but in this case I couldn't NOT write up a review. Having come across BuyPaintball.ca in my search for my very first marker package, they were one of the best prices for the kit that I could find ANYWHERE. I can honestly say that they'll be a staple in my paintball gear search from here on out and that ANYONE looking to get themselves some 'balling gear NEEDS to give them a browse.

If you're a London local, or if you're going through the area, you should definitely check out their IRL (In Real Life) store Flagswipe Paintball. I've listed "buypaintball.ca" but that's just their online operation.

Flagswipe Paintball: "The thrill you will remember!"

529 Philip Street. - London Ontario, Canada.

Phone: (519) 642-0908

Email: sales@buypaintball.ca

Superior Service:

So, a little more about my experience aside from the competitive pricing and generic references about how awesome it was getting to talk to them.

Nick with Tom 'Tomcat' Cunningham
-Not a video, don't be fooled-

I was in the market for a Tippmann A5 marker package (as you guys will no-doubt know from my posts thus-far) and came across Flagswipe/BuyPaintball.ca in my search. I sent an email to them inquiring about the package they offered, what options were available, and I sent this on the SATURDAY of the long-weekend. I then settled in expecting to be made to wait until today to get a response but on Easter Monday I get a bright-and-early email letting me know exactly what they can offer, the details of each item in the package and again folks, all of this coming in on the Saturday... Honestly, I'm barely ABLE to haul my butt out of bed on a Saturday, much less on a long weekend but Nick was ready, willing, and able to help me out.

I'm sure Nick'll wind up reading this and potentially be a little perturbed as to how I managed to snag a pic of him as Google wasn't giving up anything and I couldn't find a "meet the staff" type section of the Flagswipe website. If you want to check out the video I screen-shotted this from and more, you can find them on Youtube HERE or by searching for "Flagswipe Paintball". They're also on Facebook HERE. 

Flagswipe's Calendar of Events - 2013

Honestly fellow 'ballers, You owe it to yourselves to take a look at Flagswipe/BuyPaintball.ca. If you don't, it's your loss and that's not being harsh, it's just the truth. Their facility caters to everyone and anyone, they've got indoor AND outdoor playing areas, paintball, laser combat simulation and airsoft... Short of the kitchen sink there's not much they DON'T have and really, would you want your kitchen sink being on their paintball field? Haha probably not.

Cashing Out:

I can tell you right now that I'll be putting some serious coin into the Flagswipe cash registers (digitally speaking as I don't get to London often) or at the very least I'll be looking to them first for any gear I need. I've never met a retailer so customer-focused in my paintball expreriences. If you're looking to get into the sport, please check out www.buypaintball.ca. It's for your own good. I'd say "Tell'em Joshua sent you" but it wouldn't make a difference... EVERYONE gets the best customer service possible regardless of who you know. Quality service, equality and paintball for all! That's how they play the game.

That's all for tonight readers, just remember...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'n00b' Baller

Paintball Pros - The Weazels

These Weazels Don't Waltz:

Hey guys, this one's for a great group of folks known as The Paintball Weazels who're a staple in the paintball community.

What a bunch of characters

The Weazels are based out of London, Ontario and cater to both airsoft and paintball enthusiasts. Dealing in laser etching and engraving services though also a retailer of a wide range of marker accessories they're DEFINITELY worth a look if you're interested in customizing your gear. I've seen quite a lot of their work and I have to say that it's sharp stuff everyone. Here's a little chunk of their info, straight off the Paintball Weazels Facebook page!

"The Weazels are a paintball team committed to promoting paintball positively and encouraging its growth by actively seeking new players to come out to the local fields. We provide mentorship and help to get new players up and running with all the information and guidance they need to become pros..." - https://www.facebook.com/PBWEAZELS/info

Kindred Spirits:

You can probably see why I'm so quick to support them if you take a read of my cover page, The Barrel Condom. Both the Weazels and I are looking to provide the best in 'n00b' support to anyone looking to get into the sport although they do a helluva lot more than I do.

Paintball's gotten a rough ride in the popular media and it takes a lot of positive to offset the negatives brought upon the sport by ignorant people using paintball guns to vandalize property and deserve the peace. It's a little-acknowledged fact outside of the paintballing community that it is actually one of the safest sports in the world, and that the VAST majority of injuries come from people playing by their own rules, OFF of regulated fields and who aren't wearing proper protection.

With that little PSA out of the way, I'd like to get back to the Weazels and show you some of their work.

Extreme Etchings:

Laser etching is one of the best ways to personalize your piece, and the Weazels do top-rate work. I can't sit here and quote pricing, but I CAN show you a few examples of their awesomness... Yeah, awesomeness is a word... IT IS!

Tag! You're It!

Custom tags

Here we have an AMAZING set of laser-etched dog tags customized for one Mr. BigJay "Monster" Mclinton. The tags feature a picture of Jay in his favourite jersey, his team's logo (The Asylum Assassins) and a paintball-inspired image I sketched up for Jay (he's my cousin if you didn't know) in the shape of a paintball mask with his nickname "Monster" scrolled across what would be the lens.

I cant say enough about this piece, mainly because I'm biased with my art being featured but honestly they're an amazing trio and who WOULDN'T want something like this to compliment their paintball kit? I know that a set's on MY list of things to buy.

Next up's a little piece of DC-meets-Paintball crossover art... I'm sure it'll make you smile...

Why So Epic?

So the quote's not exact... sue me.

Laugh it up, you KNOW
you're jealous.

This piece was done for another Weazels customer, though I don't know her personally I can say that she has great taste.

When they say they'll laser etch anything, they mean damned near ANYTHING you can think of and when a group can laser-etch the joker and the ever-lovely Ms. Harley Quinn onto your marker you just HAVE to show them some serious respect.

Now this isn't exactly something for the typical 'n00b', seeing as putting money into aesthetically customizing your gear might not be a top-shelf idea off the break but as you progress in the sport, a little personalization might be in the stars. You need to remember folks, with all of the modifications out there, paintball is one of the most diverse sports as far as displaying your personality is concerned. In a world where touchdown dances and massive goal celebrations are frowned upon, it's nice to know there's still a place where you can strut your stuff with pride... Just don't strut out into a wall of paint ;)

A Warm Welcome:

If you're new to the sport, or even a grizzled veteran who bleeds paint, you'll ALWAYS receive a warm welcome from the Weazels. I'd highly recommend them to ANYONE in the paintballing community as they've always been great to me with advice and encouragement.

Contact Info:

Email: Pbweazels@gmail.com

Website: http://www.paintballweazels.com

So, go give them a shot and remember readers...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'n00b' Baller