ION 2013 - Part 1

Hey fellow ballers it's the Noob, back and at'em again with a new (late...) post about my big trip Skirmish for their annual Invasion of Normandy scenario!

You might have gathered it from the title but just to be clear, yes, this IS going to be a multi-release article as there was simply WAY too much that went on over the weekend for me to cover it in one post. I hope you'll tune in for this piece's entirety because the trip was really something special to me. Anyways, enough with the banter, on with the balling!

Magic Bus:

Visibly perturbed, my mother dropped me off at the Oshawa GO station and watched as I boarded the train on my first, solo, out-of-country journey ever... Yes, EVER. I felt bad for her since she's overprotective on a normal day but after this I figure she'll find things a lot easier when I head out on these trips. I was hauling a RIDICULOUS amount of weight in my gear bag and folks, if you're going to make a trip like this just take ONE piece of advice from me? Buy as much as you can on-site rather than trying to haul it with you. Food and water weigh a tonne and most transportation systems have a weight limitation both to charge you extra for "overweight baggage" but also to protect their baggage handlers and your safety.

Now if you can imagine, this gear bag's roughly 4' long, ~1.5-2' wide, and a foot and a half deep but it bulges out to well more than those dimensions. I had it packed with an assload of Gatorade and honestly, that was plain idiotic. Sure, it gave me something to drink, but after seeing the sort of supplies available in the US's Dollar Generals? Man, just buy on location... Trust me. You're hauling enough weight with your tent, clothing, gear etc to bother with bringing along items just as easily purchased wherever you're going. Now, things like toiletries and sunscreen (DON'T forget sunscreen... You'll see why later) you can bring along because they're not typically too heavy but food and water type materials? Don't bother hauling'em.

So I spent 13hrs in transit from Toronto to Scranton... Not exactly a quick trip. I'm trying to organize a chartered bus trip down next year but that's a piece for another post. My trip involved a stop-over in Binghamton, NY where I got to feast on a MASSIVE platter of pancakes at Chris's Diner which is located literally across the back lot from the Binghamton Greyhound terminal (actually a well-built and attractive building surprisingly). They've got great staff, the customers were all very chatty and seemed like a large portion of them were more habitual than just 'regulars' and the staff treat everyone like family. The prices? Dirt cheap, and it's a shock considering for like 5$ and change I had more hash browns, eggs and pancakes in front of me than I could've HOPED to eat. Just take my word for it, you might not realize it but when you're looking at that menu, your eyes are bigger than your stomach and NOTHING is as portioned as it seems... Shoot low. Great food though, can't stress that enough.

Besides the Binghamton stopover things flowed pretty quick. Lots of snoozing on the bus, playing on my PSP and on top of the relative peacefulness of the trip, I managed to plunk myself down beside some pretty awesome busmates.

Touchdown in Pennsylvania:

Rolled into a rather dated bus station in Scranton, PA to await pickup by my friend and ballin' buddy Sabria 'Valkyrie' McLaughlin a short 4hrs later. I took a stroll to The Mall at Steamtown to browse around but to be honest... There really wasn't much going on there. The short walk of Scranton that I experienced was a lackluster affair and if I were to make this trip again I'd be making sure to schedule myself to arrive as close because there's just NOTHING to do while you're waiting, especially while hauling so much gear with you.

A short drive later after Sabria picked me up and we were at her place where I was able to shower (thank god!) and get ready to head out to Skirmish. 

Now to give you folks an idea of what I was hauling just in the way of paintball gear and camping necessities I've included this little pic of my stuff all laid out piece-by-piece. Note, my sleeping bag is absent from the pic as are my CADPAT pants and shirt (never leave home without'em).

The Friday evening at the park was all about the social aspect of the weekend. Everyone making introduction as best they could amidst the relative chaos of 3700-something players. There was registration of course and a lot of glad-handing with your teammates, browsing the vendor row setup, and oh don't forget the beer tasting put on by Three Guys and a Beer'd Brewing Co. I have to say, their beer tasting pretty much made my night as not only was the beer fantastic but it was probably the most efficient way to gather the most players around for me to get my introductions done.

Spent the majority of the night drinking, laughing and mingling and having on HELLUVA good time. If anything the trip was worth it just to chill with all the ballers, hanging out with old friends and getting to make new ones.

Catching Some Zzz's:

It worked out fine for me...

But my campsite bud Sabria? Yeah, not so much. Folks, if you're out camping just try to remember one very important thing about planning for inclement weather... Either shield your tent's door or angle it away from the rain because if you don't? You could roll over the next morning into a half-flooded tent and trust me, or you can take Valkyrie's word for it, you do NOT want to wake up to that after sleeping on the floor of your tent without so much as an air mattress.

Me? Is stayed warm and dry (still feel kind of guilty for my luck) and woke up the next day ready to hit the beach... Or so I thought. Trust me folks, your first time out? You're NEVER ready for the beach... It's just too much in too many ways for you to possibly prepare yourself but I'll cover the beach assault -you guessed it- in my next installment of the ION 2013

Until next time my fellow ballers, keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Fight for Asylum - Prestigious Paintballers

And the Awards Go To:

I told y'all that last weekend was going to spawn a whole series of posts... Hope you're prepared because there's a lot to get through over the next week or so.

I'm writing this post to pay homage to a couple of ballers who I witnessed running the field like they owned it. These guys (and girls) held their own, kept their squads in the fight and -when necessary- were willing to lay it all on the line to push the enemy back even through walls of enemy paint. It takes a certain something to lead others in battle, and don't get me wrong that's precisely what it is out there. It's a battle and to be able to get others to follow you and carry out your orders is a very special skill. It's because of his leadership that my first award goes to:

Smash:

Bringing home the briefcase.

Our general for the weekend, and my official 'ballin brother for life, Smash rallied our team and turned us into a paintballin' meat grinder at times. He worked the XOs to make sure that everyone knew what the objectives were, employed runners to get the messages out to the front lines when his NCOs were unavailable and kept all of our spirits up with pep talks and even came up with little personal missions carried out by splinter cell-like squads.

Smash was by no means a 'lead from the back' kind of commander though, as he frequently pushed up with our troops, forcing the enemy back with some serious cohones and firepower (buddy was packin' pods like they were goin' out of style). We had to keep begging him to back up as it was extra points for killing a general but there's just nothing you can do about it when Smash gets his head into the gunfighting zone. 

If it wasn't for this smashing young gun... Pun DEFINITELY intended, I'd probably still be wandering around aimlessly, getting lit up at every turn. He made sure that I was given a task, and that I had someone to tag along with so I'd never be far from support. For his first time as a general, I could've sworn that Smash had a little Patton in him. 

I like to say that "if the only balls you have are in your hopper, you're gonna have a bad time", and it's supposed to apply to pods and extra ammo but Smash has the stones to back up his 'ballin.

Valkyrie:

This next baller takes home the gold medal for persistence, attitude and commitment to the cause.

Valkyries are mythological figures also known as the choosers of the slain. In this case, our Valkyrie was more of an angel of mercy who fearlessly ran across the front lines to keep our shooters in the fight.

When most people think of a medic they may come up with this image of a person who spends their time behind cover, hiding from enemy fire but not our Valkyrie! No sirree-Bob she could be found wherever the firefights were hottest and even taking a First Strike sniper round to the throat couldn't deter her from her medic's duties. 

In addition to the typical wiping of war wounds, Valkyrie mentored a little guy that we came to affectionately call "Mini-Medic" or "Peanut". When things got really bad she kept him out of the worst of it, even though he was all-too-eager to be where the most paint was. More than once Valkyrie had to clean up my sorry, painted self after digging myself too deep into a shithole bunker and I count myself as damned lucky to have had her backing me up.

For anyone interested (that meaning anyone sporting a Y chromosome), Valkyrie has volunteered to be a victim of the dunk tank this summer out at PRZ for Operation Die Glocke which'll be going down August 10th and 11th. It'll be 2$ per attempt at dunking this lovely lady so if you think you've got the arm for it, ante-up and drop her down!

Juggernaut:

He's the Juggernaut biatch!

A Jack of all trades if there ever was one, Juggernaut spent his time with the 'Murican team as one of the most badass engineers ever to grace the grounds at PRZ. Mission after mission, as each new objective came down from the organizers Jugger'd be right out there, spearheading the effort. It didn't matter if it was a retrieval, assault or defence mission, Juggernaut just went to work ploughing through the Deimos forces.

I spent a couple of minutes pinned down inside a busted-up GMC Suburban when we tried to push out of the village to take the fallout zone during which he spent the entire time returning fire through partially rolled down windows and calling out targets for me as I leaned up into the driver's seat to unload on nearby bunkers. You tend to develop a certain appreciation for someone who you conduct 'drive bys' with from a STATIONARY vehicle haha.

Juggernaut was another one of the 'Murican officers who helped me develop as quickly as I did. As a reference, here's a little visual aide that might explain my mentality before/after the influence of all my commanding officers.

Left: Before (Photo Credit to Unshakeable Media)
Right: After (Photo Credit to Darlene St. Georges)

Yeah, the left side is from Saturday's battle with me looking hopeless and pinned down behind a tire/pallet bunker. I've got some obviously sloppy grip discipline, looking backwards and away from the fight, and I'm just generally in a bad spot. I spent probably 8 minutes pinned down in that same spot while guys made rushes right past me before I drummed up the courage to move. The left side of the photo comes from Sunday's final battle. I'm in the urban camo pants and black long-sleeve T, checking in with my squad as to where the enemy had guys bunkered down and organizing a suppress and advance move. I never would have had the confidence to start making calls on the field if I hadn't received the support from my team's leadership on Saturday and during the first half of Sunday.

Last, Littlest but DEFINITELY not Least:

Some people might know him as Wyatt, but to me and the squad this little dude was known by his Valkyrie-designated callsign; "Peanut".

Wyatt accepting his "Team MVP
award from General Smash

There was no doubt when it came time to ask, "who was your most valuable player?" We spent Sunday with half the medics of our opponents and one of them refused to run into anything except a clear field to help our troops... If that. Wyatt was a completely different story altogether.

When we started asking around the Command Post looking for volunteers for medic duty, Wyatt wasted no time at all throwing his marker into the ring. To be honest, no one really knew that much about him and I'd only just found out that although he's only 13, Wyatt's been balling for 3 years and when our squad ran into its first major firefight I discovered that 'Peanut' could sling paint with the best of them... And yeah, I'll admit, he was WAY beyond my skill set. He'd dash into rooms we'd yet to clear, always looking for a paintstorm. When I got pinned down by a bunch of snipers in front of the 3-story building he ran up to my aid, sharing the minimal cover of three oil drums just to make sure that I had a medic with me and that the enemy would have more than just me to shoot at.

The best way that I can think of to describe 'Peanut' would be a fearless, hyper-agile competitor because no matter how bad a situation seemed, he'd be the first guy to push the advance using his small stature and ridiculous speed to get around obstacles and across fields of fire without so much as incidental splatter much less any actual hits.

Well done Peanut, you earned that award and then some!

After the Applause:

Those were the 'Fantastic Four' of my 'balling experience. I don't mean to downplay the importance of any other team members, it's just that I spent the most time around these guys, got to know their playing styles and saw what they were really capable of. I suppose another award for "Craziest Baller in Attendance" should be given out to Dylan "Joe Dirt" Swann but that's a topic for another post... Maybe another Asylum Assassins-based release??? You never know.

That's all I have for the moment my fellow ballers. As always, keep your finger(s) on the trigger(s) and...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'N00b' Baller