New Kids On The Block - Featured Teams

Hey guys,

As many of you will already know (and the rest of you are about to find out) I have the good luck to know a few of southern Ontario's coolest teams (this is a subjective measure and not rated by any scientific studies etc etc so chill... Just my opinion). A perk of knowing a number of these teams and their members on a personal level is being able to keep you, my valued (and you ARE valued) readers up-to-date on the goings-on with these groups.

This blog article is being written to introduce the teams I will be 'featuring' here on KeepCalmThrowPain on a semi-regular to regular basis... Of course this will mostly be based on when I get out paintballing and I prefer to write about events I've actually witnessed or that I can do enough research into (and warrant that research) in order to call myself properly informed.

So, without any further adieu, here are the five (THREE SIR, THREE!) no, I meant it.... Five teams that will be getting the KKTP spotlight this upcominmg 2014 season:

• Asylum Assassins - https://www.facebook.com/AsylumAssassins
• Citrus Connection - https://www.facebook.com/thecitrusconnection
• Dead Men Walking - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dead-Men-Walking-Paintball-Team/1418535588376141
• Picton Fusion - https://www.facebook.com/pictonfusionpaintballteam

Now you might be wondering... "Noob, why are you featuring THESE teams in particular?" or "What is it about THESE guys that makes them worthy of the high-and-lofty praise of a 'featured' spot on your blog?" (That one was just for laughs... I don't really take myself that seriously). The answer? Each of these teams and I have a special, personal connection through team members or the ideals they stand for (actually the values of all of these teams share common core points with me). So yeah, some might see this as a 'friends list' of sorts but I've got a tonne of friends out there, even down into the U-S-of-A but these guys are close to my home, and to my heart.

So, if I'm going to be shining a spotlight on these four... Let's call them 'interesting' groups of individuals I suppose you'll need a little background on each team won't you... Yeah... Well I suppose I could do that all in this blog post but I'm all about spotlights and focus and aimless banter so that leaves only one option...

Each of these four teams will be getting their own separate page under the KKTP header you see above this article. You can click on the page links and get my updates about each team.

Now I don't claim to be holding the rights to any 'scoops' as it were, I haven't asked the teams for any such thing. I simply want to be able to showcase these guys whenever I see them on the field or a news story involving one of them gets out there that needs a second set of eyes.

You may feel like only visiting one or two of the pages but folks, fellow noobs, ballers of all shapes and sizes I beseech you... I beg of you... Give each team due consideration. I wouldn't be posting them here if they didn't stand for something or have a positive impact on our sport.

And with that I simply ask you to do one last thing...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The Noob Baller

Changing Perceptions Pt. 2 - Tour of Duty

I said I'd be back didn't I?

Behind the Scenes:

Whether it was a vendor's table or a photographer's lens between them and the action there were people backing up this event from all sides.

Photo Courtesy of Foxymama Photography
Baller: Jay "Monk" Hebert of WCP Paintball

One of the things that some ballers don't realize is just how much work goes into being a field photographer. Every time a 'camera jockey' comes out to an event they're risking hundreds, usually thousands of their own dollars in gear or potentially lost revenue and travel costs in order to make us look good and to be there in case we need us. 

This article's all about these unsung heroes who help to make these events worthwhile and who keep driving business to our favourite fields. I should note that the images I'll be showcasing in this article will be almost exclusively material from the lens of Darlene St. Georges of Foxymama Photography however if I take an image from another source I will reference them in the caption. In case you didn't catch that, all photos are property of Darlene St. Georges / Foxymama Photography unless otherwise stated.

Photographers:

Okay, I jokingly referred to these action artists as 'camera jockeys' earlier but I need to stress the respect I have for them.

Underground Rejects

When I go on the field I'm risking my health only so far as a couple of scrapes, bruises and paintball welts. When PHOTOGRAPHERS go on the field they risk all of this and then hundreds, more typically thousands in high-end camera equipment in order to do what? Give us paintballers a way to tag ourselves on Facebook and capture our insane memories on film.

There are a number of photographers I've seen on the fields but two in particular have stood out to me and I'm proud to call each of them friends.

Darlene "Foxymama" St. Georges: Foxymama Photography

Foxy actually had a part in my very first paintball game ever.

I was gearing up to go on the field and fire my fire paintballs, shaking like a leaf, when Darlene came up to me and asked if I had any gloves to wear and I said not really and held up the $0.99, one-size

Photo Credit: Unshakable Media

fits all gloves from the Canadian Tire bargain bin and well, she wasn't having any of that. "Here ya go kiddo" she says to me as she hands me a pair of armoured, half-finger gloves so I wouldn't get my hands all blasted up my first time out.

It's not just her caring attitude that earned my respect, it's also that she does AMAZING work on the field even when she's injured and SHOULD be taking it easy on the sidelines... Yeah, but try telling HER that. I'm sure she'd walk through fire and brimstone to get to the paintball field and she'd even nab a few wicked pictures of her trip for good measure.

I can say with a great deal of certainty that the majority of the photos of me you'll see paintballing are going to be taken through her lens and I'm honoured to say that. The fact that she can make an intimidated and unsure rookie paintballer like me look as good as I do in her photos? Now THAT takes skill. As an example, look at my latest Facebook page photo, taken this past weekend at the Tour of Duty charity game, or to the left here at my current Facebook profile photo. Darlene could make the 'Elephant Man' look like Brad Pitt... Okay, that's a stretch, but you get the point.

I hope to keep playing and keep earning space on Darlene's SD cards because she doesn't shoot anything less than what she thinks looks bang-on. That's not to say she's some elitist, she's just not another Joe-average taking a photo of their food and calling it art. She puts thought and effort into getting her shots and for that I'd like to extend a huge thanks to her.

Keep on shootin' Foxy!

Blake "Arson" Goshinmon: Match Strike Digital Productions

You COULD say this guy's on fire... But that would be a terrible pun.

Okay no, to clarify, Blake wasn't present at the Tour of Duty event on the weekend however he HAS been instrumental in helping me get paintball-involved and he's done anything in his power to help me find deals on gear, advice on dealing with my marker and well... The guy shoots some pretty mean material. 

Baller: Erin Klar

He manages his own small business in Match Strike Digital Productions and the work I've seen from him is nothing short of fantastic. He shoots all manner of subjects from bikini-clad models to paint-slinging backyard warrior types like myself but some of his best work has to be what I've seen of his speedball shoots. As a little exemplar I'd like to direct your attention to the following photo he shot and edited not too long ago.

I loved this shot the second I saw it, and Blake's got many more where this came from. Now his work involves a great deal of after-effect, editing and so-forth but I don't want ANYONE thinking it's all just smoke and mirrors. You need a proper foundation for any editing to be worthwhile and Blake's shots are always some choice cuts of meat.

Again I'm going to point out that no, Arson wasn't workin' it at the Tour of Duty weekend as he's a BC boy however he does good work and he supports Noobs like myself and that's good enough for me to give him a shout out.

Again folks, these guys an gals behind their cameras risk a LOT in setting foot on that field and they do it out of a combination of their love of the sport, a passion for photography, and a desire to help us look our best which goes towards making the sport look good. If it wasn't for them how would you prove that you gogged that guy that time? Or that you mercied the bunkered-down baller? And sure, sometimes they capture us getting our butts handed to us but that just means someone else got a wicked memory-maker photo so give these artists the respect they deserve.

Wrapping it Up Again:

Well folks we've come to that time once again... I'm exhausted, I've typed too much and I've yet to cover the vendors... Well I guess that makes this a trilogy doesn't it?

Be patient and round three'll be published before you know it! Until then...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Changing Perceptions - Tour of Duty

Plain and simple, paintballers don't get the credit they deserve.

The Problem:

There have been too many people doing too many irresponsible and utterly stupid things in the past that have caused society to look down on this sport. Sure, the tournament style of play gets TV airtime and big corporate sponsors and it's all flashy and easily marketable, but what about the woodsball and scenario crowd? Who has their back? I'll tell you who... Cro Wakd of Wakd Ops.

The Solution:

How do you get from point A to point B? As the Cro flies ;)

This is the second year that Cro's run the Tour of Duty and this year's event at PRZ Paintball in Prince Edward, Ontario was nothing short of spectacular. The man's humble to a fault, saying that he's only a mirror and that he simply reflects the energy and image we send out but he's so much more than that. He put together this scenario and convinced Camp Trillium, a support camp for children with cancer, to allow us to hold the event with them as the beneficiary. That might not seem hard to some, getting a charity to let you give them money, but you need to remember that there have been SO many misconceptions about paintball that almost anyone not directly involved with the sport has a bad taste in the mouth before even getting near it. Cro's efforts have resulted in a GIANT leap away from that sort of public image.

This is Cro alongside Carrie of Camp Trillium as he presented to them a commemorative paintball jersey to signify that "we will fight on" against cancer and how it affects the lives of so many. There's not a doubt this will be the start of a very long, and very beneficial friendship for all sides with Erin's Army and Cro organising these events, and Camp Trillium working to improve the lives of child cancer patients for years and years to come.

Although I don't think Cro needs to be QUITE as humble as he is, what with the amount of effort he puts into everything he does and the devotion he shows for the causes he supports, I WILL agree with him on this fact... There's so many people to thank for their parts in making the Tour of Duty event happen, without whom it never would've been the success that it was. Having already thanked Cro for his involvement I'd like to move on to the rest of the supporters from the weekend.

The Ballers:

Plain and simple this wouldn't have been anything more than a pipe dream if no one had shown up to play, and for that I'd like to thank all of my fellow ballers who came out to support Erin's Army and Camp Trillium. There are a couple of people I'd like to mention who really displayed what I believe to be the TRUE spirit of paintball, and these are my Prestigious Paintballers from Tour of Duty: Insertion 2.

Rob Vance:

This guy was an absolute juggernaut of energy and encouragement out on the field. You only had a couple of mags for your pistol? Here's a vest-full so you can load'em up and shoot all day. You're pinned down and need covering fire? Let me throw a few pods through the "Warhammer" at that window so you can break from cover and get to a better position. You're too tired to play? You want to quit? Let me pick you up and bloody-well CARRY you onto that field because you know you love it and if that's what it takes to make sure you keep enjoying yourself by God I'll do it.

This man kept me in the game when the 'night fight' came around. I wanted to retire to my tent, throw in the towel and he just turned to me and said "I'm here to wreck shit tonight, and I need you to help me do that. Now are you withe me or not?"... Well you can probably guess what happened to my motivation after that. I went out on that field and pushed the line up wherever I could. Rob doesn't know the meaning of quit and won't let anyone else quit either. Is it because he's some hard-ass guy who demands too much? HELL NO! He just knows how to motivate you and has the utmost confidence that you can do so much more than what you THINK you're capable of.

If you ever see Rob on the field you need only know two reactions.

1. If he's on your team, get a hand on his shoulder, let him know you're there and willing to follow him to the gates of hell and back, cause he'll get you there safe.
2. If he's NOT on your team, GTFO or prepare to get lit-the-eff up. Heads down or hands up are your only options once he sets his sights on you.

Rob, if you get to read this, thanks for the encouragement man, and for not letting me quit. I'd have regretted not being on the field for that night game.

Connor "Casper" Andrews:

A young baller after my own heart, this little dude's essentially my neighbour... If you count adjacent cities as neighbours haha.

Small, agile, and fearless, Connor's honestly twice the baller that I am, and I've got no problem admitting that. It's not going to be long before this kid's getting invites from scenario teams left right and centre because boy can he EVER move out there. It doesn't matter what the objective is, how many people are guarding it, he wants a piece and wants it bad.

I have yet to meet a baller with quite so much energy as Casper's packing, even my friend and mentor Dylan "Joe Dirt" Swann might have a difficult time keeping up to young Connor. It didn't matter what you put in his hands whether it was a speedball gun, down to a pistol or even a pair of knives, he was going to get shit done.

Casper my little buddy, never lose that competitive fire, or your fearlessness. It was a HUGE help having you on our team.

Zach O'Leary:

I met Zach at the onset of the night game and I'm glad that I did. Although I never found him during the day on Sunday his actions during the night game MORE than earned him kudos on the blog.

I linked up with him as we were about to assault the warehouse. He needed someone with a flashlight, I needed backup and no one else seemed to have a better plan than forcing in the front doors... not exactly the best way to stay alive. So Zach and I cooked up the idea of working the boundary line, passing through an ignored back route and breaching through the kitchen. To say we found success in our plan would be a serious understatement. Zach nailed a few guys from the right corner while I took to picking off targets in the warehouse's sniper tower. Probably about 10 guys painted on our first strike and a couple more the second time around.

The best part of Zach's gameplay was that, when I suggested we work the outside and come in behind them he made sure we asked the head ref if it was acceptable considering the boundary rules. For maintaining a ridiculous amount of energy and for focusing on fair play and abiding by the rules, Zach gets a well-earned place on this list.

The Wrap Up:

Well I can't write all day... Or, I could but then no one would ever finish my articles.

There's not much that I want out of the sport to be honest, my aspirations are fairly simple. First I'd like to just have fun and I've accomplished that every time I've taken to the field. Second? I'd like to make as many new friends as possible and I'm also on track for that one. Third is my most important goal though... I want to help this sport grow. I only set out originally looking for numbers 1&2 but the second I got off that field I just knew that I needed to do more. I want to grow the sport and the only way to do that is to expose the brighter, better side of paintball to offset the negatives that people have been misinformed about over the years.

That's why I write this blog folks, to expose the misconceptions and to try and help prospective ballers get involved in the sport by providing information to answer the questions they may have and to make their entrance into the sport that much smoother. If my posts help even one person get into the sport then I'll be happy.

Until next time folks,

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

P.S.

There is a post on its way for the photographers and sponsors who were at the event working their butts off. It's just a lot to put into one post when done properly :p

From All Sides - Socially Surrounded

A friend of mine gave me some pretty decent advice yesterday... He said to me, "you... are a newsie. Do what you do". Well, here's me doing what I do.

Personal Failing:

Yup, I have them and I'm not ashamed of it I just try to make up for them as quickly as possible and this one's pretty simple.

I wrote my Paintball Police article without doing something that any good current events writer should do before publishing a story... Check EVERY side. I took the information I could see in the video, added to it my interpretation and opinion, weighed the thoughts of a few acquaintances and paintball regulars but I never went to the horse's mouth so-to-speak... I never actually contacted the Akimbo Assassin page to inquire about the now 'infamous' video.

From the Horse's Mouth:

AA's FB Page Picture

Well readers, that all changed late last night when I sent a message to AA outlining my thoughts and concerns as listed in the previous blog post, and I did so in the most reasonable and respectful way possible. Now I'll say this, Akimbo's a bit of a character. The way he phrases what he says comes off with a certain level of self-investment and showmanship but, being perfectly fair, everyone's got their linguistic quirks etc. What I'm trying to say is I could note how his phrasing could pester some people or cause misinterpretation of his mood behind the keyboard. In any case, I received a fleshed-out reply which was much more than the short and possibly insulting message I had been expecting from what I'd heard of his interactions with critics re: the video up to that point. 

There wasn't much fluff to his response, it was straight to business and here's the gist from Akimbo's point of view. Essentially, he feels that the personal attacks (which I agree are different compared to simple "I don't like this video" comments) were brought against him first. He also noted that there'd been some spin done to frame the video in the worst way possible. Honestly? I can agree with that to a point, since the first exposure I had to the video was in a less-than-friendly format shall we say. He also moved to explain that had he been looking to actually harm the other player that he could just as easily have shot him in the neck, in the ear, or he could've been a true duke of douchebaggery (my term, not his) and emptied the entire magazine. Looking at it in that way, being fair about my judgement call, I suppose that even though the shot placement could've been better, it also could've been handled much worse.

The real issue addressed in his reply was of the censorship that happened regarding posts on his page. He noted that it was within his rights as a page admin to delete comments etc and that's again, true. He's allowed to delete comments when he feels like it the same as any of us would be free to do with our own pages. Do I think this makes it right? Still no, I'm not one for totally censoring people simply for negativity but I've been in his position and it's easy to just hit delete and I'll admit that I did it a few times with my first blog.

AA DID note that another person came to him with an initially respectful tone but that his attitude changed when he felt that the other person became disrespectful after Akimbo gave a response that didn't seem in-line with the particular critic's opinion. He didn't provide a name, but I never pushed the name issue so it's on me for not clarifying but personally I think naming names at this point in the game wouldn't do the situation any favours.

As a last note on the conversation with Akimbo Assassin, he pointed out that he'd had his pistols chrono'd at 239 and although it's not shown in the video we as readers have no justification for believing otherwise and personally, I didn't feel as though he was trying to 'sell' me on anything, just that he was explaining what happened through his lens.

Things're Getting Clearer:

Just to clarify, I'm still not a fan of Akimbo, his style just doesn't jive with my tastes and there's nothing wrong with that but I feel as though there's going to be a few keyboard crusaders (not an insult btw, I consider myself one) who'd say "oh, well you're just jumping onto his bandwagon for the press". Folks, I've been a Toronto Maple Leaf fan since the day I was born... "bandwagoning" holds no place in my soul.

Now I'd like to point out a few things hearkening back to my original article.

1. I still don't agree with the video's posting nor the actions contained within it. It's my right to have an opinion on that AND to voice it through whichever media form I find fitting.
2. I still think the censorship of comments isn't RIGHT, but it's not illegal or necessarily wrong. It was within his rights and power to do so and it's true that if you don't like something on the internet you have the ability to go to a different site.

However! (Isn't there always a 'however' with me?) That means we also have the right to voice our opinions on OUR pages, groups etc so I suppose that draws to a stalemate. He can't force us to stop criticising or in some cases attacking him unless it's on his page and we can't force him not to post things WE don't agree with unless they're posted on OUR pages. Fair enough?

Words Of:

In the end this boils down to personal choice, human error, and the necessity for us as people to take an issue with a grain of salt, change what we can, accept what we can't and hope for the wisdom to know the difference and that's something I'm sure we can all agree on.

Here's something else I think we all need to take away from this whole ordeal... It will be much easier to change how people on the 'outside' view paintball by working our hardest to demonstrate the good rather than devoting quite so much energy to attacking the bad. The darkest shadow can be defeated with the right amount of light so focus on illuminating the sport in the public's eye with good actions and rest assured knowing that in time, negative influences will dwindle so long as you uphold the good in your heart, and teach those closest to you to do the same.

As always guys, represent the sport well... Always get as many sides of a story as you can before you try to put the puzzle together and as always...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Paintball Policy - The Paintball Police

Well here I go... Getting into paintball politics (yippee).

A lot of fuss has been made over a video recently posted by a Youtubing paintball personality who calls himself the Akimbo Assassin.  For those of you who haven't seen it, here's the link to the video:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151652925538999&set=vb.501088998&type=2&theater

If the link doesn't work I'll break down the video for you. A player's engaged in a small firefight, claims to have hit a guy at-range with a pistol and yells "you're out!". He then climbs down from the perch he was in and goes to a window where he proceeds to aim out at the accused cheater's feet, then pod pack, then decides to shoot him in the back of the head instead. The range? Maybe 4 feet.

The REAL Mistake:

Here's how I see it.

We've all had moments where we could've sworn we shot someone out but didn't, and I think we've also all seen our share of wipers. The issue here is that some of us don't seem to realize that we're not refs, and when a ref isn't around it's up to us to call when we've been hit honourably. When there's a dispute about the 'honour' of a player's actions however, some people insist on playing as judge, jury and in this case, executioner and that's simply not our job as players. This Akimbo Assassin character made the wrong decision in shooting an opponent point-blank in the back of the head when he had other options for tagging his target.

That was a mistake, an in-the-moment lapse in judgement and I think we've all had those. Maybe we've not gone to that extent, but if you've ever 'bonus balled' someone then you're guilty to some level here. The REAL issue I have is this... He posted the video to Facebook as a sort of chest-thumping, dick-waving display of... Machismo? Douchebaggery? Surely by the time you've gone home, cleaned your gear, transferred the video from your camera and cut the clip you've mellowed out enough to no longer have the "it was in-the-moment" excuse and this is where I have the biggest problem with his behaviour.

Ramifications:

Now that I've explained what my main issue is with AA's behaviour, I'd like to point out WHY I his actions deserve this post, and the level of judgement I've passed upon it.

Our sport has it bad enough with the United States DOHS claiming terrorists use paintball to train an the neighbourhood kids who go around 'hobo hunting' because they think it's cool without people LEGITIMATELY involved in this wonderful sport giving it a bad names to mums and dads of little Johnnys and Becky-Sues around the world who go online to 'research' paintball and find this sort of display.

Imagine this, you're a parent of a 13 year old (boy or girl, doesn't matter) who wants to try paintball. You go online to look up video of the sport to get a better feel for it and see something like this:

Okay, the title says it all folks... Stupidity, teenagers, and paintball. This is NOT the publicity that we need in the sport. It's a couple of kids acting like utter fools and getting hurt doing it. This is what Mommy and Daddy are going to think their kids are being put at risk for when they go out on the field to play... Okay, so maybe Mom and Dad can figure out the "Stupid Teenagers" part, but what about videos that OBVIOUSLY show pain in-game from actions that, to those IN the sport are obviously taboo but might appear as 'typical' to those without paintballing experience? 

Personally, I'd rather these prospective paintballer parents see videos like this one that glorify the sport, show a level of professionalism and team play. Yes, I know it's not legit, it's obviously scripted and been edited to unholy hell but let's face it... It's worth a view.

Honestly one of my favourite balling videos I've ever seen, mainly because of the wicked parkour moves (I'm not a fan of speedball... No offense intended, it's just not my vibe) but again, it shows a side of humour, athleticism, and energy that this sport holds above most.

The Wrap-Up:

So here it is guys, the issue, my reasoning, now all that's left is for you to make your decision. Personally I think we need to call out bullshit when we see it because if we don't, who's preventing paintball's image from being ruined by wannabe badasses and chronic Youtubers who're only out for self-advancement. When paintball wins, we all win so it's about time we focused less on an individual and more on the sport.

I realize the irony of that paragraph's message, let's stop focusing on individuals when I'm just another individual posting about their views however... I'd like to think that I'm doing this for the sport. Sure I enjoy seeing the pageview counter go up, but that's about all the gratification I get. I don't get paid for this, I don't make any money off of this blog nor am I sponsored by any companies. I play the game for the love of it and nothing more. I write about it because I want to see more people getting involved so that paintball can start getting the recognition it truly deserves. And THAT, is MY message.

So as always, please try to root out asshat moves wherever you see them (but for the right reasons and with due consideration for human error and emotional situations) and...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

ION 2013 - Part 1

Hey fellow ballers it's the Noob, back and at'em again with a new (late...) post about my big trip Skirmish for their annual Invasion of Normandy scenario!

You might have gathered it from the title but just to be clear, yes, this IS going to be a multi-release article as there was simply WAY too much that went on over the weekend for me to cover it in one post. I hope you'll tune in for this piece's entirety because the trip was really something special to me. Anyways, enough with the banter, on with the balling!

Magic Bus:

Visibly perturbed, my mother dropped me off at the Oshawa GO station and watched as I boarded the train on my first, solo, out-of-country journey ever... Yes, EVER. I felt bad for her since she's overprotective on a normal day but after this I figure she'll find things a lot easier when I head out on these trips. I was hauling a RIDICULOUS amount of weight in my gear bag and folks, if you're going to make a trip like this just take ONE piece of advice from me? Buy as much as you can on-site rather than trying to haul it with you. Food and water weigh a tonne and most transportation systems have a weight limitation both to charge you extra for "overweight baggage" but also to protect their baggage handlers and your safety.

Now if you can imagine, this gear bag's roughly 4' long, ~1.5-2' wide, and a foot and a half deep but it bulges out to well more than those dimensions. I had it packed with an assload of Gatorade and honestly, that was plain idiotic. Sure, it gave me something to drink, but after seeing the sort of supplies available in the US's Dollar Generals? Man, just buy on location... Trust me. You're hauling enough weight with your tent, clothing, gear etc to bother with bringing along items just as easily purchased wherever you're going. Now, things like toiletries and sunscreen (DON'T forget sunscreen... You'll see why later) you can bring along because they're not typically too heavy but food and water type materials? Don't bother hauling'em.

So I spent 13hrs in transit from Toronto to Scranton... Not exactly a quick trip. I'm trying to organize a chartered bus trip down next year but that's a piece for another post. My trip involved a stop-over in Binghamton, NY where I got to feast on a MASSIVE platter of pancakes at Chris's Diner which is located literally across the back lot from the Binghamton Greyhound terminal (actually a well-built and attractive building surprisingly). They've got great staff, the customers were all very chatty and seemed like a large portion of them were more habitual than just 'regulars' and the staff treat everyone like family. The prices? Dirt cheap, and it's a shock considering for like 5$ and change I had more hash browns, eggs and pancakes in front of me than I could've HOPED to eat. Just take my word for it, you might not realize it but when you're looking at that menu, your eyes are bigger than your stomach and NOTHING is as portioned as it seems... Shoot low. Great food though, can't stress that enough.

Besides the Binghamton stopover things flowed pretty quick. Lots of snoozing on the bus, playing on my PSP and on top of the relative peacefulness of the trip, I managed to plunk myself down beside some pretty awesome busmates.

Touchdown in Pennsylvania:

Rolled into a rather dated bus station in Scranton, PA to await pickup by my friend and ballin' buddy Sabria 'Valkyrie' McLaughlin a short 4hrs later. I took a stroll to The Mall at Steamtown to browse around but to be honest... There really wasn't much going on there. The short walk of Scranton that I experienced was a lackluster affair and if I were to make this trip again I'd be making sure to schedule myself to arrive as close because there's just NOTHING to do while you're waiting, especially while hauling so much gear with you.

A short drive later after Sabria picked me up and we were at her place where I was able to shower (thank god!) and get ready to head out to Skirmish. 

Now to give you folks an idea of what I was hauling just in the way of paintball gear and camping necessities I've included this little pic of my stuff all laid out piece-by-piece. Note, my sleeping bag is absent from the pic as are my CADPAT pants and shirt (never leave home without'em).

The Friday evening at the park was all about the social aspect of the weekend. Everyone making introduction as best they could amidst the relative chaos of 3700-something players. There was registration of course and a lot of glad-handing with your teammates, browsing the vendor row setup, and oh don't forget the beer tasting put on by Three Guys and a Beer'd Brewing Co. I have to say, their beer tasting pretty much made my night as not only was the beer fantastic but it was probably the most efficient way to gather the most players around for me to get my introductions done.

Spent the majority of the night drinking, laughing and mingling and having on HELLUVA good time. If anything the trip was worth it just to chill with all the ballers, hanging out with old friends and getting to make new ones.

Catching Some Zzz's:

It worked out fine for me...

But my campsite bud Sabria? Yeah, not so much. Folks, if you're out camping just try to remember one very important thing about planning for inclement weather... Either shield your tent's door or angle it away from the rain because if you don't? You could roll over the next morning into a half-flooded tent and trust me, or you can take Valkyrie's word for it, you do NOT want to wake up to that after sleeping on the floor of your tent without so much as an air mattress.

Me? Is stayed warm and dry (still feel kind of guilty for my luck) and woke up the next day ready to hit the beach... Or so I thought. Trust me folks, your first time out? You're NEVER ready for the beach... It's just too much in too many ways for you to possibly prepare yourself but I'll cover the beach assault -you guessed it- in my next installment of the ION 2013

Until next time my fellow ballers, keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Retailer Reviews - A Tale of Two Orders

Well, three actually... but that's only on a technicality.

Hero Army Surplus:

I placed two orders in a short period of time with a total value of over $200.00 of minor gun upgrades and some protective equipment. All of the items were on the website and the sizes/variants I ordered were all listed as available. When I finally got to the shipping screen, I was told that the items would be in the store in only a matter of days but this was not to be the case.

I got calls the day after each order was placed telling me that the items I had ordered were either discontinued, not in stock, extremely difficult to get ahold of or otherwise unattainable before I was set to leave for my Pennsylvania trip (which is the reason I'm doing my upgrades now anyway). On top of being told that my orders were not going to be possible, during the first call the Hero representative tried to "up-sell" me to a much more expensive pair of slider shorts. I told him that I was on a budget and unless the upgrade was being provided at the same price as the shorts I'd ordered that I wouldn't be able to stretch my budget.

Now obviously I didn't get a discount on better merchandise based on their screw ups but I was told that I'd be kept in the loop as to when my shorts would come in. I decided to order some small gun upgrades and a pair of protective gloves in the hopes of having SOMETHING for my trip but received a near-identical call the next day during which the same representative tried AGAIN to upsell me to a tricked-out (used) Tippmann A5 even AFTER acknowledging that I was the person with complications on the previous order... You'd think he'd have remembered the whole "I've set my budget and I can't break it" part of our conversation.

End result? A cancelled order, wasted time, and a lot of aggravation. Will I be dealing with Hero ever again? Maybe, but only to pick up the odd bottle of marker lube or other very small purchases.

Tactical-Mod.ca:

A paintballing friend of mine, Rikk Angel, referred me to try out tactical-mod.ca a while back but I just didn't have the cash at the time but with my trip upcoming, and my Hero order being cancelled, I decided that so long as I could get my gear in time I'd be placing an order.

As it happens Tactical-Mod.ca WAS able to ship my order in time and had the majority of the pieces that I'd been looking for. In the end I wound up getting better upgrades at a better price and with FAR better customer service than I'd seen from Hero.

I'll soon (as of this monday) be the proud owner of the shroud upgrade kit featured on the left as well as an 18" fluted barrel to go with it. I'd been informed by my teammates for the upcoming event that the engagements I'd be seeing would mostly be long and medium-long range firefights so a grip, longer hold profile and more accurate barrel would be preferential.

So, to sum up my experience with Tactical-mod.ca... Amazing service, great pricing and the speed of shipping? Absolutely fantastic. I don't know about going west from Oshawa/Toronto but my merch shipped out of St. Laurent, Quebec and having ordered it just this past Thursday my items will be at my doorstep on Monday. I couldn't be more impressed.

Final Delivery:

When I take possession of my gear on Monday morning I'll be posting a number of photos and videos of my newly shrouded A5 aka "Mandy".  Stay tuned to see how the project turns out ;) She's gonna be a real hot ticket.

Oh and as always...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - the 'Noob' Baller

Paintball Progress - Dragonfire Drone

Yup, you read that right folks, there's now a Black Ops 2 "Dragonfire-esque" paintball drone out in the world looking to ruin your day.

Game of Drones - Paintball Drone Demonstration

Now just check out this short video to get the jist of where I'm going with the article before you move on. You'll want to see their system to understand my proposed upgrades.

Now no-doubt this is one of the coolest things I've ever seen in the paintball world however it does have some design and systems operation problems that I think could've (should've?) been handled before they went 'to print' as it were with this video.

Avionics:

Avionics include "communications, navigation, the display and management of multiple systems, and the hundreds of systems that are fitted to aircraft to perform individual functions." -- Wikipedia Avionics. Although I'm not saying that these guys need to get their hands on military-grade avionics tech, but they could eliminate the need for a secondary operator (from their current gunner-pilot system) and make the drone that much more "combat effective" because, isn't that what we all want on the field? To be a more potent force on the battlefield?

Let's put it this way, if the United States military can control bomb disposal drones and UAVs in combat scenarios using an XBox controller (no, I'm not shitting you) then what's to stop these guys from doing the same?

I'm sure you recognize the little guy in this image folks, yup he's the little MQ 27 "Dragonfire" drone from Black Ops two. as part of the collector's edition you could actually get your own but that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that with the proper avionics system, fan cowlings (which improve lift) and potentially some servos and other small electronics mounted on a suitable platform... You could create a working, articulated gun platform for MILSIM paintball. 

All you would have to do to make this thing "field safe" would be to chrono the gun, make sure that the fan blades were cowled and had top & bottom shields made from chicken wire or even latticed, high-test fishing line. At that point no one's getting their fingers into the fans, the edges are guarded by the cowlings (see the circular pieces around the Dragonfire's blades if you're unsure of what a cowling is) and the gun's not firing hot. You treat the drone like a tank, unable to be shot out but fine to be nerf rocketed or air strike targeted and you've got yourself one HELL of a weapons system.

Cowlings:

Not just a safety feature, cowlings on fans actually amplify the fan's lift capabilities by focusing the air. To compare this, imagine a ceiling fan and a floor fan. The ceiling fan's air movement is fairly general, and air's allowed to deflect outward off of the blades rather than straight down.

I've included this diagram and although it may appear very dry, sterile and unappealing it explains the effects of a cowling placed around a fan quite well. As you can see from this schematic, the airflow being more focused is not the only reason for the increase in lift.

Because the air is travelling over the upper portion of the cowling (not upward directional arrows on the left and right sides of the schematic) it creates a low pressure zone which applies a lifting force to the cowling itself. This effect is noted and explained in the schematic as well.

This folks, this increase in fan efficiency, is why cowlings are such an important part of an 'optimized drone design.

Dexterity:

So you've got a weapons platform that is fast, rugged and powerful enough to suit your needs, but how do you turn that weapons platform into a true weapons system? You need to not only add a weapon to it, but you need to make that weapon as potent as possible for maximum battlefield effect.

Keeping with the COD references, here's a little remote sentry action from MW3. This little graphic helps to depict the rotational and angular mobility required for truly apex performance from any gun platform.

The remote sentry is able to rotate around on it's stem and pivot to aim up or down from the main housing around the turret's weapon. This means that a target can be struck from almost anywhere around the fixture, making it a truly versatile killing machine. The only downfall of this weapons system is that it is a static item and cannot move once placed... That's where we get the "Dragonfire" from... It's the military lovechild of UAV's and hypermobile turrets.

With this type of system, or a less mobile, forward-only facing system with some vertical and horizontal targeting potential mounted on a drone, you can now strafe your targets (again, only to the extent that you have horizontal mobility) while maintaining a straight and level flight path.

Summary:

Now that you've ensured a field-acceptable level of player safety, improved the mobility and lethality of your weapons system you are truly ready to take to the skies and rain death.

I really think that this is the next big thing in MILSIM. We've already seen tanks, and guys decked out in the latest gear available to civilians, rocking strobe and laser sights and even NVGs however... When paintball combat becomes an airborne sport? THEN it's the truest warfare simulation that you're going to get.

Sure, building or buying one of these drones isn't going to be cheap. You're looking at some serious electronics, programming, and the man hours involved in getting these things off of the drawing board and into the skies are outrageous. Despite all of that, with the advent of 3D printing, free sourced designs and schematics and the ever-advancing digital age, I'm betting it won't be long until drone warfare is a commonplace sight on MILSIM fields all across the world.

Just remember guys... No matter what you're facing, the situation can almost always be remedied by remembering the Noob Baller mantra...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Miss Catshack 2013 - She's Got MY Vote

CONTEST TIME!!!

Okay, I'm not holding the contest but a great friend of mine is in it and she needs your help. The contestant appointed Miss Catshack becomes a representative of female paintballers everywhere as well as a spokesmodel of sort for The Catshack Reports.

For those of you not in the know, The Catshack Reports is a paintball publication meant to spread the sport of paintball around the world and to provide tips and lessons to players everywhere. The winner of the Miss Catshack 2013 contest will receive:

• 1 Houston Heat team jersey, signed by the entire team
• Dead Man's Gear apparel
• One Valken product (to be specified)
• One BuyPBL product (also to be specified)
• One regulator from Immortal Air
• AND MORE!!! (to be announced as well).

Miss Catshack will (upon accepting her title) represent The Catshack Reports Paintball News by assisting with future Catshack promotions AND representing women in paintball throughout the year.

It's a pretty big deal in the paintball community to be named Miss Catshack and this year my good friend, mentor and she was also an outstanding medic who kept me in the fight back in my very first paintball game in April.

Sabria McLaughlin:

This brunette beauty hails from the wholesome heartland of Pennsylvania but she calls southern Ontario her second home.

Her paintball tag is "Valkyrie" and although this lovely lady may not have a pair of wings, but she's one hell of a warrior. To put you in mind of her paintballing mindset, this photo was taken just before she began darting  out from cover, running through walls of flying paint as a medic (see the medic patch on her left arm) to keep our shooters in the fight whenever they took a hit. Valkyries may be the choosers of the slain in Norse mythology but she sure as hell wasn't going to let our boys get 'chosen' out on the field.

When I met her she had just finished a manic medic moment and I'd been lit up all across my right arm and leg. She had me cleaned up and back in the fight and from that point on I decided that wherever Valkyrie went, I'd be doing my best to head up the advance because honestly? She was the only medic doing their job that day from our team. What's the old saying? Behind every good woman is a bunch of men trying to keep up? ;)

So now we know the story of how the Valkyire-Noob connection came to be, but what about the tale of Valkyrie? If there was a "Winged Warrior Rises" movie made, how would the saga begin? 

Chooser of the Slain:

Sabria got her start in the wild and wonderful world of paintball ---Interview To Be Published---

Miss Catshack Campaign:

Now as-mentioned, Sabria's in the running for Miss Catshack 2013 and yes, she is a bold, beautiful and upbeat baller but she still needs your votes.

Can register your vote in a number of different ways but the easiest would be to head straight to the Miss Catshack 2013 page @ http://www.catshackreports.com/miss-catshack-contest/28303-2/ and leave your comment "Sabria -Valkyrie- McLaughlin" at the bottom OR head over to the Facebook poll @ https://www.facebook.com/questions/10151685360032356/.

PLEASE guys, all of you, each and every last reader... Sabria needs you to get out and VOTE!!!!!!

Also guys remember... As always,

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Paintball Potential - MILSIM on Sportsnet

Hey guys!

No, it hasn't made it there yet, sorry if the title gave anyone false-hope that they'd be reading an article announcing a professional MILSIM segment on a national sports network but what I do have is an idea... I know, dangerous stuff but just hold onto your masks because this one's a doozy (although likely already thought of).

I first saw paintball on a sports channel probably... hmmm around 5-6 years ago. My dad gave me a heads-up about this wicked new timeslot dedicated to tournament paintball. Now this was, as I've already said, years ago and all I knew of the sport was that my mother wouldn't allow me anywhere near it... So you could imagine how mystified I was when I saw these teams in flashy jerseys, diving around a course full of inflatable obstacles and just blasted paint at one-another. It was something so new to me and I spent the rest of that afternoon glued to the television... Never to see speedball on tv again.

Now I'll admit, I didn't look that hard. I figured it'd just be on like any other sport (and it should be) but I never came across it and I had better things to do than to search for the channel online but now I've been thinking... Why hasn't scenario style paintball been made into a televised sport?

Roadblocks:

Unconventional Warfare:

The biggest reason that I could see for people not considering MILSIM paintball worthy of television is the lack of a conventional points system. Looking at from a layman's view it's easy to identify 'star' players and good teams purely by goals, wins, and there's a certain diversity that's readily apparent with different playing positions. Now how about we look at paintball from the uneducated point of view... It's a bunch of people firing non-lethal guns at one-another. Plain and simple, most people can't get past paintball being an 'unconventional' sport.

Now this goes out to everyone who says "MILSIM could never be TV-worthy" based on the lack of a 'conventional' points system... Folks, who says an assist has to be a pass leading to a goal? Who says you can only 'score' by putting a puck or a ball in a net? Let me throw these little details at you:

• There are COUNTLESS ways for teams to score points in a scenario game. If it helps, think about a videogame like Call of Duty where everything from capturing flags, to racking up kills to setting/defusing explosives can earn you points. Those points are all tracked and recorded and somewhere in the middle of all that data comes a player's ranking. 



Ex.1

• As a reference I've inserted my Call of Duty Black Ops II Elite multiplayer summary. Just in the summarized overview you can see my Kill:Death Ratio, my win percentage and score per minute along with my total experience. Now would you not agree that listing   similar statistics could be VERY relevant for following a competition MILSIM team's performance? Here's an extremely well put-together video from PRZ's Fight For Asylum 2, an event in which I competed.

Video Credit to TheAlabasterSlim

So as you can see, with the advent of compact, high-quality action cameras and the advances in wireless streaming technology, televising MILSIM paintball events can no longer be prevented simply by saying "it's hard to define a points system". Between the refs, static and mobile video cameras and player honour it's not exactly difficult to track.

Now of course this would be easier to track if it was only magfed paintball as then you can force shorter games, fewer shots fired (easier to track kills/eliminations) but regardless, it could be done.

Camera Concerns:

Here's the part I'm REALLY into... Capturing the action.

Now I figure there'll be someone who says "well even if you can track points and assign rankings, how would you prepare the action for television?" After all, television production is a very complicated process and requires serious coordination along with a bit of luck. What I say to this is the exact same thing said by the American commander in charge of the encircled forces during the battle of the Bulge when asked to surrender by the German CO...

"Nuts"

Are you trying to cover an open-field firefight? How about a shielded camera 'turret' akin to those used to televise hockey games. Oh but your field also has indoor CQB fighting? No worries, just install a couple static cameras in strategic positions and then finally, like in NASCAR, attach as many action cameras to the players as possible without impeding their play. Barrel cams, helmet and 'vanity' cameras? Absolutely! If you can't stream the images live then the world could settle for a cut and edited next-day airing. The point here is that it IS possible to put together a tv-segment-worthy piece from a MILSIM game provided it is properly organized and refereed.

Embedded is a list of popular action cameras with their specs and prices... If you think about how these could be mounted on players, and the shots you could capture, don't you think paintball might be worth watching?

Final Cut:

That's all I have to give as far as what my brain can cook up regarding MILSIM paintball and television... Seriously though, this needs to be given a pilot year, or at least a few "Paintball Night in Canada"s dont'cha think? So, what other complaints have YOU heard about why paintball can't work on TV? Leave them in the comments along with suggestions for getting around the issue if you have any.

And as always, keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Scenario Essentials - Hello Hydration My Old Friend

I've come to talk to you again,

Okay enough of the Simon and Garfunkel reference (if you didn't get it I feel bad for you) and onto the serious topic of today's post... Staying hydrated.

It can be easy to lose yourself in the heat of battle and forget that you're a working machine that needs certain fluids to stay operational. While you're out balling on the field, your body's using up a lot of water to keep you cool, supply your organs, and keep your brain from cooking under that mask. To replenish your lost fluids I've come up with a couple of systems you might want to look into in order to keep yourself hydrated.

The Camel:

This is my personal favourite so I'm letting it take the top spot. If you're puttering around your local Canadian Tire, Sport Chek or really ANY store with an outdoor sporting goods section, you'll want to look into what's called a hydration pack or 'camel pack'.

It's a pretty simple design folks, just a rubber or plastic bladder inside a slim backpack with a long drinking tube allowing you easy access to its contents. All you need to do is fill this puppy up before you hit the field and fix the mouthpiece in a location where you can easily bring it to your lips for a drink. Do this and you're ready to rock.

I should also mention some information compiled by a few of my fellow allied soldiers for the upcoming Invasion of Normandy scenario at Skirmish Paintball, Albrightsville Pennsylvania, USA. Between Matthew Moss, Nathan Ale and Anth Connor the tested and recommended ratio for your camel pack beverage should consist of either alternating 2 units of water for every unit of Gatorade, or simply pre-mix your Gatorade with the same 2:1 H20:Gatorade ratio before hitting the field as this will keep your hydration more consistent and as we all know, consistency is key.

Of course there are other ways to stay hydrated that don't require the purchase of extra gear, and I'm about to get to those, but as I said, for ease of access and the fact that it reduces your time spent in the pits getting drinks etc, this is my personal favourite.

The MacGyver:

This one's for the players who simply don't want to bother with purchasing the  whole hydration pack and who just want to be able to nip a sip while they're out on the field. It takes a little bit of ingenuity (and duct tape) but it will provide you wil satisfactory hydration while out on the field.

Materials:

• Duct tape
• Slim Powerade Bottle (Powerade with the 'nipple valve' bottle tops will be needed)
• Pod Pack (You should have one of these anyway)
• Flexible rubber tubing
• Duct Tape (too important to only list once)
• Large Ziplock bag
• Hot Glue Gun (Optional, but it sure helps)
• Funnel

Essentially you're about to construct your own hydration pack but this one's going to be put in place of a pod of ammunition... I know, I know, how dare I suggest you sacrifice ammunition capacity but let's face it, you can't exactly be painting faces when you're passed out from dehydration and heatstroke right? Right.

Construction Procedure:

1. Drink the beverage... Why waste it right?
2. Use the hot glue gun or duct tape to seal the zippered side of the Ziplock bag.
3. Cut a triangle out of one corner of the Ziplock bag. Any corner that is NOT met by the zipper will do.
4. Glue the cut-out corner to the inside of the bottle top, making sure not to get glue into the threads.
5. Feed one end of the rubber tubing through the nipple valve and into the plastic bag, then glue it in place (applying glue around the valve)
6. Insert plastic bag into the Powerade bottle and screw on the top.
7. Place narrow end of the funnel (obviously) into the drinking end of the rubber tube and pour your beverage into the plastic bag bladder.
8. Fix rubber tubing in place up your back and over your shoulder with duct tape.
9. Sip as required.

Again, this one forces you to construct your own bladder system, but it's cheaper than buying a $30-$50 hydration pack. For the most part this thing's only going to be good for a weekend or so, but if you're only playing one long-engagement event over the summer, this might be all that you need.

Of course there's always room for improvement and innovation, and I encourage people to create their own designs but this is just a little something I constructed back when I was in elementary school as a science project... Figured its time had finally arrived :)

The Sippy Cup:

This one's dead simple but it takes more time to use on-field and therefore is less tactically sound than the other suggested systems.

As I said, it's dead simple. Buy the previously mentioned rubber tubing and powerade bottle, but don't go mucking around "MacGyvering" things. Just keep both the tubing and the filled bottle with you on the field and feed the tube up under your mask and down into the top of the bottle whenever you need a drink. This is going to require setting down your marker or using a sling for it, but it's bare bones as far as effort and cost... Just don't try to get a drink during a firefight.

Summary:

No matter what you do, staying hydrated is ESSENTIAL when playing paintball. It's too easy to forget, but too important to ignore your hydration so play it safe when you're out there slinging the paint and make sure to use either a camel pack, the "MacGyver" system, the sippy cup or simply more frequent pit stops to make sure you don't succumb to the heat and overexertion.

As for my buddies, Nate, Matt and Anth, you can check out their team pages on Facebook:

• Team Hellbent for Matt and Nate: https://www.facebook.com/TeamHellBent 
• The One Eyed Demons for Anth and company: https://www.facebook.com/oed.paintball?fref=ts

Paintball's an extremely fun sport, and it's also just as safe when people keep to the rules and wear the proper equipment. Don't let heatstroke and dehydration keep you from making the most of your marker this summer. Get out there and play, but play safe!

And as always my fellow noobs, keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Arsenal Expansion - VOTE

Hey everyone, this is going to be the shortest update in Noob Baller history... I'm holding a vote to see what everyone thinks I should choose as my next marker and the vote is between Pistols and Pumps.

You can weigh in with YOUR vote by following this link to the Facebook poll:
https://www.facebook.com/questions/265414190264191/

PLEASE guys, I'd like to see what your opinions are concerning my next marker choice. Also, if you've got the minute to spare, comment on the question with your recommendation as to WHICH pump or pistol marker I should look into and why :)

Thanks and as always, keep calm and throw paint!!!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Shopping List - A5 --> M4 Modern Assault

So I've decided on where I want my A5 to go as far as shrouds are concerned and here's what I'm looking at...

The Modification Station:

This here is the Tactical-Mod M4 Modern Assault Kit for the Tippmann A5 2011-Present. It includes:

• 1 x 416 Body Shroud
• 1 x CTR Stock w/ Metal Shaft
• 1 x M4 Gas-Through Magazine
• 1 x AFG Angled Fore Grip
• 4 x Ladder Rail Covers

Now I'm looking to add a red dot to the top rail as well as a flashlight to the right side front rail but all things in due time. As-is, with just the conversion kit and dot sight I'm looking at it's going to cost me around $200.00 before taxes so budgeting is a serious concern. I also have to accommodate for the fact that the M4 kit doesn't have iron sights along the top rail so a sight of some sort is going to be a must. If I get the sudden inspiration to blow an extra chunk of cash I might go with the ACOG replica over a red dot but it all depends on the almighty dollar am i right?

So what do you guys think? I know it's a personal choice, but I always like input. I'm hoping to add a little more control to my marker as well as some improved accuracy. Now, I realize that improving a marker's accuracy comes down more to barrel type and ammunition but having a sight system that you can work with? Hey if you're able to have more effect than just firing from the hip it's always a good thing.

Honestly folks, I learned a lot about how I like to play from my weekend balling at the PRZ field opener back in April and I'm going to run with that instinct. I hope that you'll all run with me on this one because I'd love to share my experiences with you.

ION Update:

As many of you (and all of my avid readers will know), I'm heading down to Pennsylvania in July for Skirmish Paintball's Invasion of Normandy scenario. What you might not know is that I sent my $$$ down to a friend in order to reserve some half-priced paint for the event and the money arrived safe and sound. I am now officially 'in' for 165$ and my nerves are starting to jump.

I should also note that ALL credit to getting me registered goes to my father who let me use his credit card for the online registry. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be going at all so thanks, and a happy belated birthday to ya daddyo!

As always folks... Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

The Kit Connection - Minor Upgrades

Hey guys, a little bit of news regarding the future of my paintball kit. I figure with each passing event I'm going to try and add one more piece to my gear and tonight's update comes with one new item, and a couple of accessories on-deck.

Newest Addition:

Keep it simple stupid ;)

What can you add to your kit as a scenario player that's cheap and actually stands a chance of helping you out in the field? If you play a lot of woodsball scenarios, a couple pieces of CADPAT gear never hurt. Today my dad was nice enough to spontaneously buy me a simple CADPAT t-shirt that I'd been put on my upgrades shopping list over at Hero Army Surplus. Now, my upgrade list wasn't compiled purely based on the Hero catalogue but with the shop being local we just dropped in and it was an easy buy.

Yup, a dead-simple digital woodlands camo t-shirt is the latest upgrade to my kit albeit a rather mundane one. To be fair, until now I was playing with a long-sleeved black t-shirt that was far too warm and simply unsuitable for the upcoming Invasion of Normandy scenario at Skirmish Paintball which'll involve a lot of woodland combat.

Now I know, there are a lot more players out there with a lot more gear so what's a single t-shirt going to do for me? Essentially, if it comes down to a split-second draw and you're the only one with any level of concealment, you're going to hold a distinct advantage over your opponent.

I'm not saying you should go all-out and ghillie up, but a little camouflage never hurt.

On Deck:

As I've already mentioned, I'm looking to add more to my kit and a couple of items have come to the forefront. Now I'm not choosing these items based on some concept of "every new player should go in this order" because I've seen videos that claim there's a "perfect" order in which to buy upgrades but honestly, this isn't a video game where your needs have the same progression no matter who's playing. Your gear should adapt to the way you play, not the other way around. If your mentality has you wanting to hit the field one way, don't buy gear that works against what your mind's already good at doing. 

As an example, if you love getting up-close and personal, breaching rooms and other CQB tactics, don't go gearing yourself up with a sniper's kit because it's only going to get you killed. conversely, if you want to hang back and pick guys off to support your frontline teammates, buying a speedball marker and a 'Pinocchio' hopper. Sure you'll be able to keep heads down, but sniping will be almost completely out of the question and you're going to burn through a LOT of paint which means a LOT of money. This graphic, though unrelated to paintball, should give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

See the adorable little soldier sprites here? See how each one has different gear to go with their roles and the situations they'll be facing? This is how you should work your kit. 

I'm not saying that you need full body armour and camouflage equipment, I've already covered the whole "Tacti-cool" issue but put it this way... If stealth is your objective, don't go throwing on neon clothing and running around with bells on your shoes. If you're looking to be a one-man fireteam, odds are a single pistol and no back-up magazines just isn't going to cut it on the field. There's a time and place for everything out there guys (except spiders... I hate spiders) so figure out what works for YOU and then -though I hate to quote a soft-drink commercial- "do you". It's corny and far too cliche for my usual tastes but it works when it comes to organizing your kit.

Back to the matter-at-hand though... On-Deck Upgrades are:

Gloves: 

Standard personal protection. I got dinged a time or two on my hands and wrists back in April and so it might be a good idea to add a pair of armoured gloves to my set-up to keep from bruising my digits. I didn't have my game impaired by hand hits though as I only suffered three over the course of the weekend so these come in at a slightly lower priority for me in contrast to what other players have told me.

Tactical Light: 

There's going to be some guaranteed night-fighting this summer and if it goes anything like the night game I played in during the PRZ field opener, a flashlight with an added strobe function will come in handy for sure. Going from peering down a dark hallway to having a flickering light in your face makes it nearly impossible to get an accurate shot off.

Walkie-Talkies:

Definitely in the 'left field' portion of my potential upgrades but I almost always find myself closely allied with one or two individuals and communication can be extremely important especially if you're trying any maneuvers more complicated than "run in that direction and shoot anyone coming this way". They can be a good way to keep informed if you're shot and want to keep up-to-date on the situation as it changes during your re-insertion delay.   

Smoke Grenades: 

Again, PRZ's home opener was an eye-opener for me as to the usefulness of these little treats. One properly-used smoke grenade can help you clear a building where you stand to lose an equivalent value in paint. We managed to surrender 8-9 players in one building by lobbing in a cold smoke grenade. Those things smell and taste nasty, and where the rules permit'em, they can definitely swing the momentum in your favour.

Suggestions?

Well here's what it comes down to readers. Although I don't typically like letting others tell you what to do as it pertains to customizing your gear, I would appreciate some input from all of you. If you've used any of these items I'd like your opinions on them and how they've affected your game. None of them have any situation-specific nature so I have no problems asking for generalized information and as such, any personal experiences with them would be greatly appreciated! You can add your opinions, comments, questions etc in the "comments" area below the post :)

Thanks everyone, and remember...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Moral Mistakes - "Hobo Hunting"

I've heard about these incidents, and frankly it disturbs me. I won't say that it surprises me simply because human nature can be cruel, especially to those we view as being 'below us' in some form or another, but I am definitely disturbed that some people participate in this activity, and that others make light of it.

Definition:

-"Hobo Hunting" - As it pertains to paintball

The act of 'recreationally' targeting the homeless population for assault with paintball guns. Individuals who engage in this sort of activity with conspire together to 'hunt' members of the homeless using paintball markers.

The Larger Issue:

The larger issue is that this isn't just accepted by some niche group of people, it's referenced jokingly by others in the paintball community and all of this leaves a very bad taste in society's mouth concerning our sport.

One Facebook page that I used to like, as they came off as a group for new players in the UK, and they decided to make an unnecessary reference to "hobo hunting" in a picture that had nothing to do with paintball, or this ridiculous activity. I've been leery of their posts for a bit, as they seem very erratic, some nonsensical, but this did it for me. https://www.facebook.com/pages/PaintballLondon/456077411135098?fref=ts is NOT a page that should be seen as a legitimate piece of the paintball community, and I do not believe that they have the sport's best interests at heart.

My Position:

Folks, since I started working my way into the sport I've grown to love it and everything it stands for. Fair play, opportunity, friendship, teamwork, physical fitness... All of the best things in life can be found in paintball and I'd like to share that fact with as many people as I can. On the flip side of that drive comes the determination to put down any messages being generated by individuals who only want to damage paintball's reputation, or who want to use paintballing materials to illegitimate or harmful ends.

Saw this while Googling for paintball material... Love it

Paintball is an extremely safe, fun, and motivating sport. It promotes qualities that should be valued by any society but because of a few, irresponsible people, the sport has gotten a bad rap in many countries and communities. I've heard stories of neighbourhood troublemakers driving down streets and firing at innocent passers-by, hobo hunting was another activity I'd heard of where markers and paint were being used inappropriately, and I'm sure there are many more illicit uses of the sport's affiliated equipment but these people do NOT represent paintball. These people represent poor parenting, the effects of circumstance on the developing mind, society's devolution and in the most basic sense, shit disturbers with nothing to contribute to society.

Running on Empty:

Okay so here's where I wrap everything up into a neat little bow... First of all, paintballing is a sport like any other and involves a set of risks inherent with participation. Steps are taken by responsible paintballers, field owners and managers and paintball companies to prevent injury. Second, people will continue to have free will and abuse certain privileges in life however just because one person drinks and drives doesn't mean we should ban alcohol or motor vehicles... Saving the planet would be a much more valid reason for banning those things :P My third and final point goes out to all the groups who treat paintball like some evil pass-time akin to eating babies or who misrepresent the values of the sport... Get your facts right and do it quick because we don't have time for your ignorance clouding other peoples' minds about our wonderful sport!

Remember as always everyone...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'noob' Baller