ION 2013 - Part 1

Hey fellow ballers it's the Noob, back and at'em again with a new (late...) post about my big trip Skirmish for their annual Invasion of Normandy scenario!

You might have gathered it from the title but just to be clear, yes, this IS going to be a multi-release article as there was simply WAY too much that went on over the weekend for me to cover it in one post. I hope you'll tune in for this piece's entirety because the trip was really something special to me. Anyways, enough with the banter, on with the balling!

Magic Bus:

Visibly perturbed, my mother dropped me off at the Oshawa GO station and watched as I boarded the train on my first, solo, out-of-country journey ever... Yes, EVER. I felt bad for her since she's overprotective on a normal day but after this I figure she'll find things a lot easier when I head out on these trips. I was hauling a RIDICULOUS amount of weight in my gear bag and folks, if you're going to make a trip like this just take ONE piece of advice from me? Buy as much as you can on-site rather than trying to haul it with you. Food and water weigh a tonne and most transportation systems have a weight limitation both to charge you extra for "overweight baggage" but also to protect their baggage handlers and your safety.

Now if you can imagine, this gear bag's roughly 4' long, ~1.5-2' wide, and a foot and a half deep but it bulges out to well more than those dimensions. I had it packed with an assload of Gatorade and honestly, that was plain idiotic. Sure, it gave me something to drink, but after seeing the sort of supplies available in the US's Dollar Generals? Man, just buy on location... Trust me. You're hauling enough weight with your tent, clothing, gear etc to bother with bringing along items just as easily purchased wherever you're going. Now, things like toiletries and sunscreen (DON'T forget sunscreen... You'll see why later) you can bring along because they're not typically too heavy but food and water type materials? Don't bother hauling'em.

So I spent 13hrs in transit from Toronto to Scranton... Not exactly a quick trip. I'm trying to organize a chartered bus trip down next year but that's a piece for another post. My trip involved a stop-over in Binghamton, NY where I got to feast on a MASSIVE platter of pancakes at Chris's Diner which is located literally across the back lot from the Binghamton Greyhound terminal (actually a well-built and attractive building surprisingly). They've got great staff, the customers were all very chatty and seemed like a large portion of them were more habitual than just 'regulars' and the staff treat everyone like family. The prices? Dirt cheap, and it's a shock considering for like 5$ and change I had more hash browns, eggs and pancakes in front of me than I could've HOPED to eat. Just take my word for it, you might not realize it but when you're looking at that menu, your eyes are bigger than your stomach and NOTHING is as portioned as it seems... Shoot low. Great food though, can't stress that enough.

Besides the Binghamton stopover things flowed pretty quick. Lots of snoozing on the bus, playing on my PSP and on top of the relative peacefulness of the trip, I managed to plunk myself down beside some pretty awesome busmates.

Touchdown in Pennsylvania:

Rolled into a rather dated bus station in Scranton, PA to await pickup by my friend and ballin' buddy Sabria 'Valkyrie' McLaughlin a short 4hrs later. I took a stroll to The Mall at Steamtown to browse around but to be honest... There really wasn't much going on there. The short walk of Scranton that I experienced was a lackluster affair and if I were to make this trip again I'd be making sure to schedule myself to arrive as close because there's just NOTHING to do while you're waiting, especially while hauling so much gear with you.

A short drive later after Sabria picked me up and we were at her place where I was able to shower (thank god!) and get ready to head out to Skirmish. 

Now to give you folks an idea of what I was hauling just in the way of paintball gear and camping necessities I've included this little pic of my stuff all laid out piece-by-piece. Note, my sleeping bag is absent from the pic as are my CADPAT pants and shirt (never leave home without'em).

The Friday evening at the park was all about the social aspect of the weekend. Everyone making introduction as best they could amidst the relative chaos of 3700-something players. There was registration of course and a lot of glad-handing with your teammates, browsing the vendor row setup, and oh don't forget the beer tasting put on by Three Guys and a Beer'd Brewing Co. I have to say, their beer tasting pretty much made my night as not only was the beer fantastic but it was probably the most efficient way to gather the most players around for me to get my introductions done.

Spent the majority of the night drinking, laughing and mingling and having on HELLUVA good time. If anything the trip was worth it just to chill with all the ballers, hanging out with old friends and getting to make new ones.

Catching Some Zzz's:

It worked out fine for me...

But my campsite bud Sabria? Yeah, not so much. Folks, if you're out camping just try to remember one very important thing about planning for inclement weather... Either shield your tent's door or angle it away from the rain because if you don't? You could roll over the next morning into a half-flooded tent and trust me, or you can take Valkyrie's word for it, you do NOT want to wake up to that after sleeping on the floor of your tent without so much as an air mattress.

Me? Is stayed warm and dry (still feel kind of guilty for my luck) and woke up the next day ready to hit the beach... Or so I thought. Trust me folks, your first time out? You're NEVER ready for the beach... It's just too much in too many ways for you to possibly prepare yourself but I'll cover the beach assault -you guessed it- in my next installment of the ION 2013

Until next time my fellow ballers, keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Retailer Reviews - A Tale of Two Orders

Well, three actually... but that's only on a technicality.

Hero Army Surplus:

I placed two orders in a short period of time with a total value of over $200.00 of minor gun upgrades and some protective equipment. All of the items were on the website and the sizes/variants I ordered were all listed as available. When I finally got to the shipping screen, I was told that the items would be in the store in only a matter of days but this was not to be the case.

I got calls the day after each order was placed telling me that the items I had ordered were either discontinued, not in stock, extremely difficult to get ahold of or otherwise unattainable before I was set to leave for my Pennsylvania trip (which is the reason I'm doing my upgrades now anyway). On top of being told that my orders were not going to be possible, during the first call the Hero representative tried to "up-sell" me to a much more expensive pair of slider shorts. I told him that I was on a budget and unless the upgrade was being provided at the same price as the shorts I'd ordered that I wouldn't be able to stretch my budget.

Now obviously I didn't get a discount on better merchandise based on their screw ups but I was told that I'd be kept in the loop as to when my shorts would come in. I decided to order some small gun upgrades and a pair of protective gloves in the hopes of having SOMETHING for my trip but received a near-identical call the next day during which the same representative tried AGAIN to upsell me to a tricked-out (used) Tippmann A5 even AFTER acknowledging that I was the person with complications on the previous order... You'd think he'd have remembered the whole "I've set my budget and I can't break it" part of our conversation.

End result? A cancelled order, wasted time, and a lot of aggravation. Will I be dealing with Hero ever again? Maybe, but only to pick up the odd bottle of marker lube or other very small purchases.

Tactical-Mod.ca:

A paintballing friend of mine, Rikk Angel, referred me to try out tactical-mod.ca a while back but I just didn't have the cash at the time but with my trip upcoming, and my Hero order being cancelled, I decided that so long as I could get my gear in time I'd be placing an order.

As it happens Tactical-Mod.ca WAS able to ship my order in time and had the majority of the pieces that I'd been looking for. In the end I wound up getting better upgrades at a better price and with FAR better customer service than I'd seen from Hero.

I'll soon (as of this monday) be the proud owner of the shroud upgrade kit featured on the left as well as an 18" fluted barrel to go with it. I'd been informed by my teammates for the upcoming event that the engagements I'd be seeing would mostly be long and medium-long range firefights so a grip, longer hold profile and more accurate barrel would be preferential.

So, to sum up my experience with Tactical-mod.ca... Amazing service, great pricing and the speed of shipping? Absolutely fantastic. I don't know about going west from Oshawa/Toronto but my merch shipped out of St. Laurent, Quebec and having ordered it just this past Thursday my items will be at my doorstep on Monday. I couldn't be more impressed.

Final Delivery:

When I take possession of my gear on Monday morning I'll be posting a number of photos and videos of my newly shrouded A5 aka "Mandy".  Stay tuned to see how the project turns out ;) She's gonna be a real hot ticket.

Oh and as always...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - the 'Noob' Baller

Paintball Progress - Dragonfire Drone

Yup, you read that right folks, there's now a Black Ops 2 "Dragonfire-esque" paintball drone out in the world looking to ruin your day.

Game of Drones - Paintball Drone Demonstration

Now just check out this short video to get the jist of where I'm going with the article before you move on. You'll want to see their system to understand my proposed upgrades.

Now no-doubt this is one of the coolest things I've ever seen in the paintball world however it does have some design and systems operation problems that I think could've (should've?) been handled before they went 'to print' as it were with this video.

Avionics:

Avionics include "communications, navigation, the display and management of multiple systems, and the hundreds of systems that are fitted to aircraft to perform individual functions." -- Wikipedia Avionics. Although I'm not saying that these guys need to get their hands on military-grade avionics tech, but they could eliminate the need for a secondary operator (from their current gunner-pilot system) and make the drone that much more "combat effective" because, isn't that what we all want on the field? To be a more potent force on the battlefield?

Let's put it this way, if the United States military can control bomb disposal drones and UAVs in combat scenarios using an XBox controller (no, I'm not shitting you) then what's to stop these guys from doing the same?

I'm sure you recognize the little guy in this image folks, yup he's the little MQ 27 "Dragonfire" drone from Black Ops two. as part of the collector's edition you could actually get your own but that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that with the proper avionics system, fan cowlings (which improve lift) and potentially some servos and other small electronics mounted on a suitable platform... You could create a working, articulated gun platform for MILSIM paintball. 

All you would have to do to make this thing "field safe" would be to chrono the gun, make sure that the fan blades were cowled and had top & bottom shields made from chicken wire or even latticed, high-test fishing line. At that point no one's getting their fingers into the fans, the edges are guarded by the cowlings (see the circular pieces around the Dragonfire's blades if you're unsure of what a cowling is) and the gun's not firing hot. You treat the drone like a tank, unable to be shot out but fine to be nerf rocketed or air strike targeted and you've got yourself one HELL of a weapons system.

Cowlings:

Not just a safety feature, cowlings on fans actually amplify the fan's lift capabilities by focusing the air. To compare this, imagine a ceiling fan and a floor fan. The ceiling fan's air movement is fairly general, and air's allowed to deflect outward off of the blades rather than straight down.

I've included this diagram and although it may appear very dry, sterile and unappealing it explains the effects of a cowling placed around a fan quite well. As you can see from this schematic, the airflow being more focused is not the only reason for the increase in lift.

Because the air is travelling over the upper portion of the cowling (not upward directional arrows on the left and right sides of the schematic) it creates a low pressure zone which applies a lifting force to the cowling itself. This effect is noted and explained in the schematic as well.

This folks, this increase in fan efficiency, is why cowlings are such an important part of an 'optimized drone design.

Dexterity:

So you've got a weapons platform that is fast, rugged and powerful enough to suit your needs, but how do you turn that weapons platform into a true weapons system? You need to not only add a weapon to it, but you need to make that weapon as potent as possible for maximum battlefield effect.

Keeping with the COD references, here's a little remote sentry action from MW3. This little graphic helps to depict the rotational and angular mobility required for truly apex performance from any gun platform.

The remote sentry is able to rotate around on it's stem and pivot to aim up or down from the main housing around the turret's weapon. This means that a target can be struck from almost anywhere around the fixture, making it a truly versatile killing machine. The only downfall of this weapons system is that it is a static item and cannot move once placed... That's where we get the "Dragonfire" from... It's the military lovechild of UAV's and hypermobile turrets.

With this type of system, or a less mobile, forward-only facing system with some vertical and horizontal targeting potential mounted on a drone, you can now strafe your targets (again, only to the extent that you have horizontal mobility) while maintaining a straight and level flight path.

Summary:

Now that you've ensured a field-acceptable level of player safety, improved the mobility and lethality of your weapons system you are truly ready to take to the skies and rain death.

I really think that this is the next big thing in MILSIM. We've already seen tanks, and guys decked out in the latest gear available to civilians, rocking strobe and laser sights and even NVGs however... When paintball combat becomes an airborne sport? THEN it's the truest warfare simulation that you're going to get.

Sure, building or buying one of these drones isn't going to be cheap. You're looking at some serious electronics, programming, and the man hours involved in getting these things off of the drawing board and into the skies are outrageous. Despite all of that, with the advent of 3D printing, free sourced designs and schematics and the ever-advancing digital age, I'm betting it won't be long until drone warfare is a commonplace sight on MILSIM fields all across the world.

Just remember guys... No matter what you're facing, the situation can almost always be remedied by remembering the Noob Baller mantra...

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Miss Catshack 2013 - She's Got MY Vote

CONTEST TIME!!!

Okay, I'm not holding the contest but a great friend of mine is in it and she needs your help. The contestant appointed Miss Catshack becomes a representative of female paintballers everywhere as well as a spokesmodel of sort for The Catshack Reports.

For those of you not in the know, The Catshack Reports is a paintball publication meant to spread the sport of paintball around the world and to provide tips and lessons to players everywhere. The winner of the Miss Catshack 2013 contest will receive:

• 1 Houston Heat team jersey, signed by the entire team
• Dead Man's Gear apparel
• One Valken product (to be specified)
• One BuyPBL product (also to be specified)
• One regulator from Immortal Air
• AND MORE!!! (to be announced as well).

Miss Catshack will (upon accepting her title) represent The Catshack Reports Paintball News by assisting with future Catshack promotions AND representing women in paintball throughout the year.

It's a pretty big deal in the paintball community to be named Miss Catshack and this year my good friend, mentor and she was also an outstanding medic who kept me in the fight back in my very first paintball game in April.

Sabria McLaughlin:

This brunette beauty hails from the wholesome heartland of Pennsylvania but she calls southern Ontario her second home.

Her paintball tag is "Valkyrie" and although this lovely lady may not have a pair of wings, but she's one hell of a warrior. To put you in mind of her paintballing mindset, this photo was taken just before she began darting  out from cover, running through walls of flying paint as a medic (see the medic patch on her left arm) to keep our shooters in the fight whenever they took a hit. Valkyries may be the choosers of the slain in Norse mythology but she sure as hell wasn't going to let our boys get 'chosen' out on the field.

When I met her she had just finished a manic medic moment and I'd been lit up all across my right arm and leg. She had me cleaned up and back in the fight and from that point on I decided that wherever Valkyrie went, I'd be doing my best to head up the advance because honestly? She was the only medic doing their job that day from our team. What's the old saying? Behind every good woman is a bunch of men trying to keep up? ;)

So now we know the story of how the Valkyire-Noob connection came to be, but what about the tale of Valkyrie? If there was a "Winged Warrior Rises" movie made, how would the saga begin? 

Chooser of the Slain:

Sabria got her start in the wild and wonderful world of paintball ---Interview To Be Published---

Miss Catshack Campaign:

Now as-mentioned, Sabria's in the running for Miss Catshack 2013 and yes, she is a bold, beautiful and upbeat baller but she still needs your votes.

Can register your vote in a number of different ways but the easiest would be to head straight to the Miss Catshack 2013 page @ http://www.catshackreports.com/miss-catshack-contest/28303-2/ and leave your comment "Sabria -Valkyrie- McLaughlin" at the bottom OR head over to the Facebook poll @ https://www.facebook.com/questions/10151685360032356/.

PLEASE guys, all of you, each and every last reader... Sabria needs you to get out and VOTE!!!!!!

Also guys remember... As always,

Keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller

Paintball Potential - MILSIM on Sportsnet

Hey guys!

No, it hasn't made it there yet, sorry if the title gave anyone false-hope that they'd be reading an article announcing a professional MILSIM segment on a national sports network but what I do have is an idea... I know, dangerous stuff but just hold onto your masks because this one's a doozy (although likely already thought of).

I first saw paintball on a sports channel probably... hmmm around 5-6 years ago. My dad gave me a heads-up about this wicked new timeslot dedicated to tournament paintball. Now this was, as I've already said, years ago and all I knew of the sport was that my mother wouldn't allow me anywhere near it... So you could imagine how mystified I was when I saw these teams in flashy jerseys, diving around a course full of inflatable obstacles and just blasted paint at one-another. It was something so new to me and I spent the rest of that afternoon glued to the television... Never to see speedball on tv again.

Now I'll admit, I didn't look that hard. I figured it'd just be on like any other sport (and it should be) but I never came across it and I had better things to do than to search for the channel online but now I've been thinking... Why hasn't scenario style paintball been made into a televised sport?

Roadblocks:

Unconventional Warfare:

The biggest reason that I could see for people not considering MILSIM paintball worthy of television is the lack of a conventional points system. Looking at from a layman's view it's easy to identify 'star' players and good teams purely by goals, wins, and there's a certain diversity that's readily apparent with different playing positions. Now how about we look at paintball from the uneducated point of view... It's a bunch of people firing non-lethal guns at one-another. Plain and simple, most people can't get past paintball being an 'unconventional' sport.

Now this goes out to everyone who says "MILSIM could never be TV-worthy" based on the lack of a 'conventional' points system... Folks, who says an assist has to be a pass leading to a goal? Who says you can only 'score' by putting a puck or a ball in a net? Let me throw these little details at you:

• There are COUNTLESS ways for teams to score points in a scenario game. If it helps, think about a videogame like Call of Duty where everything from capturing flags, to racking up kills to setting/defusing explosives can earn you points. Those points are all tracked and recorded and somewhere in the middle of all that data comes a player's ranking. 



Ex.1

• As a reference I've inserted my Call of Duty Black Ops II Elite multiplayer summary. Just in the summarized overview you can see my Kill:Death Ratio, my win percentage and score per minute along with my total experience. Now would you not agree that listing   similar statistics could be VERY relevant for following a competition MILSIM team's performance? Here's an extremely well put-together video from PRZ's Fight For Asylum 2, an event in which I competed.

Video Credit to TheAlabasterSlim

So as you can see, with the advent of compact, high-quality action cameras and the advances in wireless streaming technology, televising MILSIM paintball events can no longer be prevented simply by saying "it's hard to define a points system". Between the refs, static and mobile video cameras and player honour it's not exactly difficult to track.

Now of course this would be easier to track if it was only magfed paintball as then you can force shorter games, fewer shots fired (easier to track kills/eliminations) but regardless, it could be done.

Camera Concerns:

Here's the part I'm REALLY into... Capturing the action.

Now I figure there'll be someone who says "well even if you can track points and assign rankings, how would you prepare the action for television?" After all, television production is a very complicated process and requires serious coordination along with a bit of luck. What I say to this is the exact same thing said by the American commander in charge of the encircled forces during the battle of the Bulge when asked to surrender by the German CO...

"Nuts"

Are you trying to cover an open-field firefight? How about a shielded camera 'turret' akin to those used to televise hockey games. Oh but your field also has indoor CQB fighting? No worries, just install a couple static cameras in strategic positions and then finally, like in NASCAR, attach as many action cameras to the players as possible without impeding their play. Barrel cams, helmet and 'vanity' cameras? Absolutely! If you can't stream the images live then the world could settle for a cut and edited next-day airing. The point here is that it IS possible to put together a tv-segment-worthy piece from a MILSIM game provided it is properly organized and refereed.

Embedded is a list of popular action cameras with their specs and prices... If you think about how these could be mounted on players, and the shots you could capture, don't you think paintball might be worth watching?

Final Cut:

That's all I have to give as far as what my brain can cook up regarding MILSIM paintball and television... Seriously though, this needs to be given a pilot year, or at least a few "Paintball Night in Canada"s dont'cha think? So, what other complaints have YOU heard about why paintball can't work on TV? Leave them in the comments along with suggestions for getting around the issue if you have any.

And as always, keep calm and throw paint!

Joshua J. Taylor - The 'Noob' Baller